I am Sridhar, a 23 years old guy, born and brought up in Hyderabad. In 2013, I completed my engineering from a reputed college in Chennai. Presently, I work as a developer in Bangalore. Today, I share the incident that had the biggest impact on my life. It is the story of my break-up and how I overcame it.
Our love story began as friendship in the first year of college. Later, I confessed my love for her with great anxiety. When she said yes, it became the happiest day of my life. We sailed comfortably through our college years. We had some fights but my love for her kept increasing. I admired her dedication and firm resolutions. She had big dreams and I supported them completely. When college ended, it was an emotional moment for us as she had plans to move to the USA in 3 months. Although I was a bit scared, I told myself that it was a matter of few years and we would make it work, no matter what. After all, we had been together for 3 years now.
Post our graduation ceremony, I came back to Hyderabad and she moved to her home. I knew that she had a lot of things to do before she left for the USA and hence, I did not mind when she did not reply to my messages or calls for hours at a stretch. I didn’t realise that this was silence before the storm.
Then, on the day of her VISA interview, I got a mail from her. I opened it with apprehension as the subject said “Bye”. She had written that she did not want to be in a relationship anymore as she was moving to the USA. She wrote that she was sure that our long distance relationship would stress both of us and so on.
I began crying. I felt choked as if the air had escaped my lungs. I switched off my PC in a hurry and stepped out of the house. I was panting for breath and crying at the same time. I grabbed my bike and escaped on it. I remember that I felt blank and shattered. I tried calling her but no response. She was showing her steely resolve yet again.
I spent close to 70 hours on the streets – eating food from vendors, resting on park benches, crashing at a friend’s place. I tried to figure where I went wrong and what I could do to bring her back. I regained some of my senses after 3 days and went home. I lied to my parents that a friend’s father had met with an accident in Chennai and I had to go to help him. Luckily, they believed me.
Next day, I told them that my friend needed me again. I packed a small bag and left home, this time to meet her. On reaching, I messaged her that I was there and wanted to meet her just once. She replied with a firm “No” and told me to go back. When I told her I would wait till she came, she replied that she was not interested in meeting or talking to me anymore. Her words stung badly but I had hope. After 3 days of long wait, my hopes gave way to exhaustion and tears.
When I came back home, I was overwhelmed with guilt and sadness of losing her. My mother tried to ask me what was wrong but I chose not to reply. She contacted some of my friends, but I refused to talk to them too. I deactivated social media accounts as they all reminded me of her.
Amidst this, the start date of my first job arrived. Earlier, I was very excited about it but then, I lost all interest in it. All l that mattered to me was that I had lost her. I felt worthless and devoid of all emotions. Every morning, I would go to office like a dead man – with no interest in anything or anyone there. Every night, I would stay up and plan ways of meeting her in the USA. I did not want to believe that she had broken up with me. I wanted to convince her of my love. 6 months passed but I was still in a state of shock.
Around this time, a senior joined my team. She was 6 years elder to me and came to my rescue as an elder sister. She coaxed me to talk and have lunch with the team. She encouraged me to share my story with her. When I did, she listened patiently and then said these wise words:
This had a huge impact on me. I began to see the truth in her words. I was scared of meeting my friends initially but was pleasantly surprised to have their support. They said that they understood my pain and did not consider me guilty at all. Somehow, things started falling into place once again.
Now, it is 3 years since the breakup and I can happily say that I have come a long way. I have become braver and mature. I have learnt some very important lessons – It is important to think of our situation objectively. We tend to believe that all areas of life are messed up when one major thing goes wrong. I also learnt that instead of assuming the future, one should just enjoy the present. And also, it is important that after one has tried his/her best, there is no need of any guilt.
The best part is that I don’t have any ill feelings towards her. Last month, I even congratulated her on her engagement (which I got to know from our mutual friends). I am also prepared to go to her wedding if she invites me. And my belief in love – it is still very strong. I am sure that my soulmate will come along when the time is right.
Your DOST celebrates the #BraveSpirit of Sridhar Reddy! Do you have a story inside you of struggle that you overcame with your brave spirit? Share it with us! You never know who can connect with your story and get the courage to keep moving ahead!
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