TW: Mention of Self Harm
“My world revolves around poetry. It is something which holds the power to pull me out of my low phases.”
These are the words from Pranav Saiani – an ardent reader and connoisseur of poetries! Born and raised in Chandigarh, Pranav is an eighteen-year-old B.Com. (Hons.) student. Pranav admires Shelley, Keats, and Byron’s works and calls poetries as his true calling! As an introvert, Pranav often finds it hard to socialise with other people. The cause of Pranav’s psyche tracks back to when his mother passed away.
“I was nine years old when my mom passed away. I lived my childhood in despair. Later on, I developed CPTSD too.”
After losing his mother, Pranav could not comprehend the mere thought process and negativity that started surrounding him. Owing to this, Pranav developed CPTSD too.
Complex post-traumatic stress disorder is a condition where one experiences some symptoms of PTSD along with additional symptoms, such as difficulty controlling one’s emotions, feeling very angry or distrustful towards the world.
Pranav was unaware of the impact and consequences of his mother’s passing initially, but as the years passed, he noticed many changes in him. Pranav started distancing themself from his family members and spent most of his time alone. The isolation tendencies made Pranav cut many ties with his school peers too. Pranav started feeling the emptiness, unable to acknowledge what’s bothering him and at that moment, he felt like ending his life.
“When I was in 11th class, I started cutting myself. I wanted to harm myself. Somehow one of my teachers got to know about the cuts, so they pushed me to meet the school therapist.”
Things were already taking a major toll on Pranav, and once his self-harm tendencies were observed by his teachers, they urged him to start sessions with a school therapist. Pranav was unable to think through and when he encountered the therapist, things took a turn for him. Unfortunately, he had to go through an awful experience with the therapist. Once the news broke, Pranav lost many of his friends. Pranav’s father too, felt despair and slowly their relationship went sour. Pranav’s academics too went south and he eventually went down to the hole of isolation.
“After many bad experiences, I wanted a counselor who I can rely on. Due to the high cost of the sessions, I had to pause my hunt for a counselor.”
Pranav was adamant to work on himself and understand the root cause of his issues, with help from a counselor. Being a student, and with little to no family support, it was very difficult for him to seek counseling. But, one day Pranav got to know about YourDOST and its services through his institution’s resources. Pranav was elated to know that he can finally seek therapy. Like many of us, Pranav was a bit hesitant to reach out to the counselor for the first time. He used to think ‘therapy is only for the sick’, but as he started his sessions with YourDOST counselor Ms Srinithi Sridhar, this feeling went away.
Pranav started his counseling journey with chat sessions, and slowly transitioned to audio counseling sessions. Pranav was happy to gain a fresher and positive experience with a counselor after many hiccups prior to this.
“Srinithi gave me enough time to speak and she took care of me when I needed the most. After a couple of sessions she advised me to visit a psychiatrist and I discovered I had BPD and depression.”
Pranav was aware of the fact that he was going through a lot, and that it was getting out of his hands but upon meeting a psychiatrist, he was diagnosed with BPD and depression.
Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).
With his treatments going parallel to the counseling sessions, Pranav was asked to practise breathing exercises and sleep-inducing practices. Though Pranav was unable to follow these techniques, for him, it was the venting that helped the most. He was finally able to understand and identify his traumas and he even learned to articulate himself and his thoughts in a better way.
“Through therapy, I reduced overdosing on medicines and reduced self-harm too. I remember getting into a fight with my dad after therapy, but unlike other times, I kept calm and went with the flow. It really helped me.”
For someone like Pranav, releasing himself and finally acknowledging his trauma wasn’t a cakewalk, but with guidance from Srinithi and his own sheer will, Pranav made it happen. After a positive experience with counselors, Pranav now trusts the counselors and experts from YourDOST and urges everyone to give counseling a try! Pranav extends his gratitude to Srinithi and says, “Thanks for being there for me. I’m forever in debt.”
Pranav rates himself 4 out of 5, in terms of getting better and calls finding the perfect counselor after a series of bad experiences the best experience!
From all of us at YourDOST, Pranav, you’re an embodiment of excellence! Someone who wants to be the best version of himself, and someone who isn’t afraid of taking the first step! We wish you the best, for years to come!
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