Moulina Thakur is a graphic designer who lives in Bangalore. She graduated from the National Institute of Fashion Technology(NIFT) with a Bachelor of Product Design. She is 23 years old and was born and raised in Chittaranjan, West Bengal.
Moulina enjoys swimming and exploring new cultural experiences in and around her vicinity. She collects coins, makes handicrafts whenever she gets the time and loves to travel in good company. Moulina adds that her family was very conservative during childhood, and she has always felt closer to her pets than family members or friends.
Coming from a huge family of five, including her parents, brother, and brother-in-law, Moulina grew up to be reserved, even though she was an extrovert during her school days. She developed this introverted personality during college when the pandemic and lockdown happened.
After the lockdown, when Moulina moved to Bangalore again to continue her studies, she found herself entangled in misunderstandings with her close friends and aunt, whom she considers her beloved.
“It was a terrible phase in my life. I had no idea how to resolve or move on from the issues. I knew if I kept everything in my head, it would only get worse, so I decided to need guidance.”
Moulina explains that she saw counselors coming to campus through her college’s partnership with YourDOST. She made an appointment and connected with them for sessions.
“To be honest, I have never trusted anyone with sharing about my life. I was sceptical about going for the session at the beginning. I was confused and scared, but my Counselor changed my perspective. She understood my personality and made me feel comfortable at the right pace.”
Moulina explains that in her first session, she was mostly quiet, and only after the Counselor’s efforts could she open up about her issues with her circle. She explained that she had been acquainted with a group of male friends since her first year of college.
When everything seemed normal, one of the group members behaved toward Moulina in a way that made her uncomfortable. When she tried to confront him about it, things got complicated for her.
“It might feel okay for others, but what that person did was wrong for me. I told him I didn’t wish to stay in contact with him anymore, but he took it as an ego issue and told every one of our friends that I was characterless. It was unbearable at that time.”
She explained that all her group members had started to distance themselves from her due to this incident. Moulina felt more distress as even the few closest people in the group supported the other person, wanting to stand by their man and not her.
On the other hand, Moulina was also going through a similar incident with her aunt. Moulina describes being angry with her life choices; her aunt wanted to sever her ties with Moulina, and she used harsh words, which hurt Moulina even more.
“I used to be very attached to my aunt, and I never thought someone from my family would say such mean things to me. The worst thing was, I couldn’t even share this with my parents because it would cause a rift between the family.”
Moulina says that losing the connection with her aunt and friends was very tough on her; all she could feel was betrayal from her beloved people. She explains that she felt overwhelmed and couldn’t move out of that zone as she repeatedly re-ran the incidents in her mind.
She adds she even continuously forced herself to make peace with her friends despite not being at fault because she felt very attached to them.
“I couldn’t focus on anything else in life. My academics, career and internship started taking a back seat in my mind. I was constantly trying to make these people come back into my life. If not for therapy, I would have been stuck in that phase.”
When the Counselor made Moulina see that nobody in the group wanted to understand her, she realised she had been in unhealthy company. She adds that seeing Moulina question herself constantly about why she was in this situation, her therapist employed specific journaling techniques to help her.
She was made to write down everything she felt daily so they could work on them during the sessions. Moulina says that apart from listening, the Counselor framed her response as appropriate and thought-provoking to nudge her in the right direction.
“I realised I was feeling very lonely. I’m someone who resists expressing emotions in front of others, but in therapy, I was crying my heart out in front of my counsellor. She guided me without judgement; she was a good person.”
Moulina says she started believing in the process so much that she continued the sessions even during the long holidays. Apart from therapy, since Mouina was diagnosed with thyroid, her Counselor also encouraged her to do certain physical activities that can improve her health, keep her stress-free and focus on her internship and college work.
Eventually, Moulina started noticing the changes in herself. She elaborates that she could finally move on after being stuck in a loop of thoughts for more than a year. She credits her counselor for helping her understand her environment better.
“I want to thank my counsellor for making me understand that I need to value myself and prioritise self-love rather than being emotionally- dependent on other people. I’m not hurt anymore and can handle situations better than I did back then because of her.”
Moulina rates her emotional well-being as 3 out of 5. We are delighted that she has reached this point and wish her luck in her future endeavours.
Moulina’s Warrior Tips:
1.“When you approach a friend or relative during tough times, they will give their perspective, but an expert will understand and give you unbiased guidance.”
2.“Being vulnerable is alright when you are in a safe space.”
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