“You don’t walk out of a breakup empty-handed. Every breakup teaches a lesson. Find yours.” – Anonymous.
“I try to be as vulnerable as I can” – is the motto Tanay lives by. When life throws lemons at him, Tanay knows how to squeeze and make lemonade for himself! Tanay is a person who loves to open himself to as many challenges as possible. Owing to his bring-it-on attitude, Tanay grasps on to any incoming hobbies that upgrade his interests. Tanay has trained himself to play as many as seven instruments. His relentless talent in stand-up comedy led him to meet Zakir Khan. Tanay also has a keen interest in reading books especially with topics based on social sciences, psychology and humanities. Overall, Tanay is a human full of creativity.
“Born in Udaipur, Rajasthan, my childhood has been tricky as I relocated to various places including Malaysia and Mumbai.”
As a true people person, Tanay loves to know more about the human psyche and so decided to pursue further studies in humanities, Tanay moved on to pursue a major in Human-Centred Design from Srishti Manipal Institute of Art, Design And Technology, Bangalore. This ambivert personality had his hands on every aspect that drew his interest.
“By the time the pandemic hit, I had bid farewell to most of my college friends. Not many knew what they wanted to do with their lives.”
Tanay knew that he would love to try making some monetary benefit as well as gain experience in the same after college. So, Tanay went on to join an internship from home itself. That internship was a realisation for Tanay that he was not a person who could commit to a full-time job. Tanay wanted to be a free bird and at the same time, make the most out of his potential. So, Tanay took this opportunity to quit his internship and club up his creative side and degree to make a career out of it.
“I started voice-acting for which I never studied or got trained. I was also into writing and overall freelancing became my muse.”
Overall, Tanay was helping a game developer make a game by contributing with his own talents. So far, Tanay’s journey seemed intriguing and happening. But looking back through his journey, Tanay’s life hadn’t been so upfront. Tanay had to face a few bumps in the road that left patches of grey on his colourful path. Tanay soon realised the importance of a clear introspection of the same.
“When my college was about to end, I wasn’t even aware that mental health existed. Meanwhile, I had gone through a breakup with the first love of my life.”
As Tanay described his former girlfriend being an amazing woman, he also stated how the relationship had become an unhealthy one after a given point. The relationship had turned into a codependent one and eventually, Tanay and his then-girlfriend parted ways mutually. After the breakup, Tanay realised that he had forgotten how life was without her.
Nonetheless, the breakup brought a new phase in Tanay’s life and he was looking forward to a new future. Soon, Tanay had thrown himself into a new relationship. The relationship seemed amazing but little did Tanay know that this time, it was a classic rebound situation. Tanay realised that he constantly had a ghost of his former girlfriend living inside his mind. Things got uglier when that ghost started interfering with his current relationship.
“I realised that there is an entire thing called grief that needed to be processed by me. I had realised that I wasn’t in a position to get into a relationship at that time.”
This was the moment when Tanay, who had never tasted loss in his life had realised what it felt like. The parting from his first love was Tanay’s first ever experience of a loss and not giving it a chance to process was putting a toll on his mental health. Tanay, being a person who never took the shelter of substance abuse had suddenly developed an urge of doing the same for straight two weeks. Anxiety got over him and in no time, Tanay realised that the new relationship was just a distraction to not confront himself with his loss of the previous relationship.
“I used to play video games or binge-watch movies. But no kind of distraction was working and I knew I wanted someone to talk to and vent out my grief.”
Tanay’s main motive was to be a better person to his current partner and he also wanted to get rid of the triggers from the past breakup. So, Tanay dived into the internet in search of a possible solution to his issues and that’s when he found YourDOST. After months of searching for that true confidant, Tanay finally got in touch with Ankita, a counselor from YourDOST and soon gave in to the process of counseling with faith. Ankita was a professional and to-the-point person and soon took over an important position in Tanay’s life as a mentor. Ankita made Tanay recognise a few solution-oriented points in the whole problem that put a huge impact on the counseling process.
“Ankita made me realise that the relationship with myself right now is the most important one. I was advised to ask myself if I wanted to be with my current partner.”
Tanay was awestruck with the realisation of his college relationship being a coping mechanism to his anxiety. As the counseling process proceeded over a span of 6-7 months, Tanay was also taken through certain techniques.
Tanay was advised to read which ranged from books to small abstracts from certain books. He was also suggested journaling and soon he was able to rationalise his thoughts. Tanay also learnt a way of framing questions to rationalise his long thoughts to bring a positive outcome from them. Tanay admired the way Ankita was structured about her approach towards his counseling process.
After therapy, I can assure myself that I can cope with anything in life now. I also believe that we should be there for ourselves before being there for others.”
Tanay found a new person within himself. He feels more confident and accepts the way he is as a person. As he mentions vulnerability as it may come, Tanay extends his hearty gratitude to Ankita for constantly guiding him through his journey.
Tanay believes that physical health is not the only thing one should pay attention to. Mental health is important too and understanding mental health is a tricky task. Tanay rates his overall improvement through counseling with a solid 4.8 out of 5 as he describes his progress with one word “Evolution”. We, at YourDOST, are impressed by Tanay’s personality and guts to overcome his difficulties with such bravery.
Tanay stood up for himself, went against the tide and made healing his weapon. Would you?
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