“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” – Nelson Mandela.
Each and every individual on this planet lives a different life altogether. Hence, we cannot balance them on the same plates of comparison. The approach to success and healing differs for everybody, and finding the right support is key to a better life.
This is the story of Jonn (name changed), a 30-year-old software engineer. He completed his Bachelor of Engineering from the prestigious IIT Delhi.
Jonn’s childhood was a roller coaster, filled with extreme ups and downs that left him confused and often overwhelmed. He lived with his dad and sister after he lost his mother during his second year of college. His father’s job in the armed forces meant frequent relocations to various cities.
“My dad never really liked his job. He was always dissatisfied, which made our home life tense.”
The family moved from Bangalore to Ahmedabad and then to Guwahati before settling in their hometown after his father left the service.
“We used to live in a very small house despite my dad having a good job. It was quite embarrassing and confusing as well.”
This financial strain and his father’s dissatisfaction impacted Jonn’s childhood significantly. His mother slipped into depression when he was in ninth grade, a condition that lasted for almost two years before she recovered, only to relapse more severely later on.
“I was the bright kid in school who could solve math problems way beyond my grade level.”
Despite facing these challenges at home, he excelled academically. However, his mother’s depression and the strained family dynamics took a toll on him, which affected his focus and performance during his crucial high school years.
Despite these hurdles, Jonn eventually got into IIT Delhi. His mother was proud of him and gave him her blessings.
The COVID-19 pandemic struck during his second year, and his mother fell into a more intense bout of depression. This time, they couldn’t save her.
“After my mom’s untimely demise, my dad’s attitude changed for the better. He became less angry and more satisfied with life, but it was too late.”
The loss of his mother left a void in Jonn’s life, and he spent a year and a half trying to cope with the grief. During this period, he felt emotionally numb, unable to process his feelings.
Seven months ago, Jonn met a girl who initially helped him reconnect with his emotions.
“She was different from other girls as she was beautiful, hardworking, and smart. She helped me save money and find opportunities to better myself.”
However, as their relationship progressed, it turned toxic. Her behaviour changed, and she began to look down on Jonn, which severely affected his self-esteem.
“Her disrespect towards me brought back all the painful memories of my past. It was like reliving my worst moments.”s me brought back all the painful memories of my past. It was like reliving my worst moments.”
Struggling with his self-worth, Jonn turned to therapy through YourDOST, which he learned through his institute, as they partnered with the organisation. Here, he met his counsellor, Dolcy Pandey.
Dolcy understood Jonn’s situation and provided him with practical techniques to manage his emotions.
“She sent me articles on assertiveness and recognising low self-esteem in relationships.”
One technique that helped him was setting aside 15 minutes daily to acknowledge and release negative thoughts. This practice prevented these thoughts from affecting his daily life.
Dolcy also introduced Jonn to meditation and journaling techniques, which helped him sleep better and manage his stress. Despite the ongoing challenges, his therapy sessions have made a positive impact on his mental well-being and brought him to a state of calmness.
“I don’t have any words to thank Ms Dolcy, but I’m deeply grateful for my counsellor.”
Jonn rates his improvement at 2.5 out of 5 and believes that progress means not letting things affect his day-to-day schedule.
Jonn believes he is still on the path of healing and considers it a gradual and consistent process. We at YourDOST could not be more proud of his journey and wish him the best in the future!
Jonn’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Keep pursuing what you are interested in, even if you’re facing depression or anxiety.”
2.“The world keeps going, whether you laugh or cry. It’s up to you to choose how you face it.”
3.“Never fear sharing your thoughts or emotions with your close ones. If you think you’re right, stand by it. If you’re wrong, work on yourself.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
