Juggling his life as an introvert and an extrovert at the same time – this is the story of 25-year-old Rishabh Singh. Rishabh grew up as a nomad, where he traveled to many places along with his family. Rishabh is currently working as a Program Manager in Bangalore. Rishabh calls himself a shy and introverted person, who sometimes feels like an extrovert too! Though he had clarity for many things in his life, Rishabh often used to feel confused about his career and always searched for who he really is. Rishabh’s life was going smoothly in his new organization until something unprecedented happened to him.
“I was in a relationship from my college days. Me being an introvert brought many fights and incompatibility issues between the both of us. When I moved to Bangalore, things went sour.”
Rishabh moved to Bangalore about two years back and he soon realized that the long-distance in their relationship was causing turbulence. After months of back and forth, Rishabh and his then-girlfriend broke up, leaving Rishabh in a state of denial. Soon, Rishabh’s ex-girlfriend introduced Rishabh to her fiance. The sudden news was unacceptable for Rishabh and he started doubting himself. After multiple arguments between them, Rishabh began to spiral and eventually started overthinking and overanalyzing his situation.
“Is there something that I did wrong?”
“Did I somehow love her less?”
“Was I the toxic one in our relationship?”
Rishabh was constantly surrounded by such thoughts – day in and day out. He even lost his sleepover such negative thoughts and that hampered his work life too. Rishabh was constantly feeling why his ex-girlfriend didn’t reveal this sooner, and so, to numb his pain, Rishabh reached out to his friends. Though temporary solutions were provided, Rishabh’s friend couldn’t quite empathize with him, and so he decided to reach out to a counselor. Rishabh’s friends were shaken on hearing about the counseling process, but Rishabh was adamant to seek help and break the chain of negativity and low productivity.
“I got to know about YourDOST through my previous organisation, so I instantly reached out to them. I had no preconceptions about the counseling process, so I was pretty excited to give it a chance.”
Rishabh got connected with Mr. Abrar Raza, a counselor from YourDOST. Though Rishabh had some trust issues, with help of Abrar’s patient and calm demeanor, he opened up to him quickly. Abrar listened to all of Rishabh’s concerns and empathized with him – something Rishabh was searching for!
Abrar probed Rishabh with various questions, to understand the fundamental reason behind Rishabh’s negative and self-depreciative thoughts. By the time the second counseling session was conducted, Rishabh was surprised to see how Abrar connected all the dots for Rishabh and gave him more clarity.
“Abrar asked me to imagine my life with my ex-girlfriend for the next four years and see how it goes. I understood that the relationship wouldn’t have lasted for that long and so I was finally able to feel content.”
Rishabh was asked to engage in any activities whenever he felt overwhelmed, and so he started taking interest in reading and cycling in his free time. One of the pieces of advice provided by Abrar which worked the best for Rishabh was to identify his triggers. So, now whenever Rishabh feels that encountering a certain situation may bring bitter consequences, he tries to avoid it. Abrar also suggested Rishabh practice Mind Map to better understand his thoughts.
A mind map is a diagram used to visually organize information. A mind map is hierarchical and shows relationships among pieces of the whole.
Avoiding triggers helped miraculously to Rishabh and he urges others to try using the Mind Map once! Through counseling, Rishabh saw a shift in his thought process. Rishabh understood that counseling is a slow process and takes time to show behavioral changes and so whenever he felt down, he’d simply recall the guidance given by Abrar. Rishabh has finally taken hold of his thoughts and emotions now.
“I have always undervalued and underappreciated myself, so I haven’t visualized that I have any value. But after counseling, I started to fall in love with myself!”
Rishabh now practices self-love with pride! Each morning, Rishabh starts his day by looking at the mirror, smiling. Such small rituals helped Rishabh feel grateful for himself and be more positive towards life.
Summarising his overall counseling experience, Rishabh mentions that he feels more confident than ever and gave himself a 3.5 out of 5 stars in terms of feeling better. But for all of us at YourDOST, Rishabh is already a 5 on 5!
Though during the counseling process, discussing and fighting with his issues seemed hard for Rishabh, he is elated to have understood the true meaning of empathy through the counseling sessions.
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