As rightly said by Edward Sapir, “Language is the most massive and inclusive art we know, a mountainous and anonymous work of unconscious generations.” – and surely, language is an art not only associated with mere words but the truest psyche behind a human brain. To know a language and the scribbled thoughts is to know the cognition behind the writer. 22-year-old Lakshya Kishor is well aware of this, credits to his sheer love for the Russian language.
While in class 9, Lakshya reached out to his grandfather with the hopes of learning a new language. Though this was a sudden interest meant to be a temporary admiration, it turned out to be something Lakshya would mark his presence for the years to come! Lakshya is currently pursuing MA in Russian Studies from Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU). Apart from indulging in cognitive linguistics, Lakshya enjoys playing cricket, reading, and writing poetries too. Despite being a headstrong individual, Lakshya encountered something which changed the trajectory of his life.
“When I was in SY of undergraduate studies, I broke up with my then-girlfriend. Months passed, but my overthinking tendencies did not rest.”
Lakshya’s breakup took a toll on his mental and physical health. Having no motivation to work and the sinking feeling kept him up for many nights. Lakshya started having nervous breakdowns and even his family members observed the changes in him. The sudden outbursts, followed by uncontrollable tears had become a routine for Lakshya but he decided to let things take its own course. After ignoring such emotions at first, Lakshya got into another relationship but he could not completely take himself out of the pain of the first breakup.
“I started having issues with my girlfriend. She told me that I might be too stuck in the past and the fact that I couldn’t stop overthinking about these led to sleepless nights.”
Lakshya recalls crying himself to morning, in search of help and guidance to help him get his life back on track. He visited a counselor on JNU campus for a couple of months, and to Lakshya’s surprise, it actually helped him. Almost after a year and a half, Lakshya noticed that he might not have any issues as previous, but still, he faced another breakup. Lakshya was back to square one, but adamant to take control over his life and thought process.
“I let my ex-girlfriend be the orient of my life and when she left, I didn’t know what to do with my life. I was indulged in self-doubt and guilt.”
The void created by Lakshya’s ex-girlfriend made a huge impact on him, leaving him with thoughts of denial, overthinking and self-doubt. The bitterness of negative thoughts was reflected in Lakshya’s academics too. Despite scoring astonishingly in college exams, deep down Lakshya was aware that he is unable to perform to his fullest potential. Lakshya even mentioned how being reserved and being cut off from the world are two different things and the fact that he was always surrounded by negativity, made him a people-pleasing person.
“I became a people pleaser eventually. After some time, I started taking charge of things and decided never to let anyone steer my life. I was introduced to YourDOST through my college and so I decided to give counseling another shot.”
Lakshya reached out to YourDOST and got connected with an expert, Mr Abrar Raza. Lakshya was anxious, low on motivation but still, he decided to start his counseling journey through a video call session. From the initial session, Lakshya knew he had finally found the place to vent his emotions and feelings.
“Abrar talks less and asks more. He was very patient and we even started working on developing my personality for the better.”
Like many breakups, Lakshya was also left alone without any closure. His desire to seek closure was one of the root causes of his state of denial, but after the sessions, he started accepting the situation as it is.
“I realised no matter what I do, the other person will remain the same. Me bearing negative thoughts owing to them, was unnecessary. After Abrar’s suggestions, I even started paying attention to my physical fitness.”
Abrar became the beacon of hope for Lakshya, not just for helping him get over the breakup; but to stop Lakshya from remaining in the past. Lakshya’s self-doubt vanished, he was able to do the basic things very efficiently again and even built self-confidence. As a word of gratitude, Lakshya says, “Abrar did not just push me, he worked alongside me”. Abrar made Lakshya understand the core of his issues, eventually leading him to believe in himself again. Though Abrar did not engage Lakshya in any techniques or exercises, his words helped Lakshya develop the trust and faith in a counselor he always needed.
“Breaking the predominant mental health taboo in my head itself was the biggest challenge for me. Through counseling, I see myself becoming a better person.”
It’s okay to feel uncertain and doubt the counseling process, but just like Lakshya, one must trust the process and witness the healing. On a scale of 1 to 5, Lakshya rates himself a solid 4.5 out of 5 in terms of feeling better and urges everyone to seek out help, whenever needed.
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