“It is not a failure to readjust my sails to fit the waters I find myself in.” ― Mackenzi Lee
Change is a part of life. As simple as this may sound, it’s not really a cakewalk when it comes to adopting a change. As they say, success waits at the end of our comfort zone, and Shivangi, 21, learned this the hard way.
Talking about overcoming her difficulty of moving and adjusting to a new place, she went through a major transition.
“I did my under-graduation at Delhi University and moved to IIIT Bangalore. It was hard to adjust to both the new place and college course. I started acting out.”
Gradually, things started falling into their right places for Shivangi. She had finally started getting adjusted to her new environment and what came next affected her like most of us.
“The pandemic changed everything. I had to shift back home and stay with my parents. The transition that I feared was back and again, I had to go through all of these changes.”
Unfortunately, these were not the only changes that Shivangi had to go through. At the same time, she was having issues in her friendship and romantic relationship.
“When I got into IIIT Bangalore, I was the first one from our friends’ circle to get into a college and my friends apparently seemed jealous. Distance grew between our friendship and I felt like I had no good friends.”
When Shivangi felt that she at least had her girlfriend to go to, she was encountered various issues with their relationship because of which they had to break up.
“My partner used to constantly abuse me with harsh words and I couldn’t take that. The breakup was hard to deal and I decided to reach out to YourDOST as it was LGBTQIA+ friendly.”
Shivangi connected with her counselor Divyani who helped her in a lot of ways, especially to move on from her ex-partner.
“I took two sessions per week. This helped me to deal with my issues more effectively.”
Shivangi had broken up with her ex-partner but it had some loose ends for which she wanted closure. She lacked the courage to confront her ex-girlfriend initially but with Divyani’s guidance, she did the needful.
“I didn’t have a proper closure after my breakup. I wanted to confront my ex. My counselor helped me gather the much-needed courage.”
During this time, Shivangi found herself tangled in a loop of negative thoughts, and what helped her was cognitive restructuring.
“Divyani helped me break out of cognitive distortion which occurs when an individual often perceives their environment inaccurately and tends to have a negative bias.”
Under her counselor’s supervision, Shivangi began to follow the suggested tips and techniques. One such was maintaining a self-esteem journal to boost her willpower and keep her motivated throughout the day.
“Slowly, I could adjust to the sudden changes and regulate my emotions better. I found it easier to adjust to the lockdown and move on from my breakup.”
Recalling the kind of support she received from her counselor, Shivangi is grateful to her for all the positive changes.
At last, Shivangi wants to remind everyone that we are the only ones who know ourselves.
“Everyone might say you are fine but you know yourself better. So trust your guts.”
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