“The rules for a healthy relationship are communication, cooperation, and determination.” – Marquis Heath
People nowadays are investing so much time and energy in their social and personal relationships, that they often forget to work on themselves and not prioritise it. Therefore, we must understand the importance of giving, not just to others but also to ourselves. 26 years old Akash Agarwal, a master’s student, shares his story on how he brought himself up and introspected his relationship. His previous relationship ended when he lost his father, and he was not ready to lose this relationship.
“I wanted some honest advice. I wasn’t sure what exactly was going on with my relationship.”
Akash’s relationship was at the cusp of ending, and he started questioning himself and started overthinking about his relationship. He started asking his friends for advice, and most times, he felt that he got a mixed response. Akash had even started facing emotional abuse, and he found it difficult to hold on. This gave birth to a feeling of worthlessness and self-doubt. Akash acknowledged the communication gap between him and his partner but did not know what he should do to avoid it and be more open.
Despite having a loving partner, Akash’s girlfriend left him and threw Akash in the pit of grief and guilt. Moreover, due to many differences in opinions, Akash’s partner refused to communicate with him. Seeing Akash in misery, many of his friends came to his aid, which helped Akash for some time, but the sadness and grief resurfaced soon after.
This is when Akash decided to reach out to a professional and got connected with YourDOST counsellor, Ms. Mamatha.
“I wanted to talk to someone who would not be judgmental and biased and so I wanted to reach out to a counsellor. And counselling is a good way to get emotional support.”
Akash was amused by how Mamatha started the session by being kind and caring. Akash witnessed his perspective changing from negative thinking to structured, positive thinking. Mamatha helped Akash using questioning skills and CBT, also known as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. These techniques enabled him to differentiate his irrational thoughts from his rational thoughts.
Akash is fond of writing, so Mamatha suggested that he make notes of his irrational thoughts and review them later. Little did he know, Akash was soon able to realise his trigger points, leading him to overthink and spiraling. He realised he has to take some time for himself and work on himself to be in a healthier relationship next time.
“Mamatha sometimes would reach out to me and ask questions which would make me think a lot. I feel like I have developed a whole new perspective after meeting Mamatha and getting counselling from her.”
Realisations like these helped Akash move on and made him feel more relieved and happy about himself. As a result, Akash slowly reduced spiraling and started focusing on himself. He was able to rectify the mistakes that he made in the past and let go of all the negative experiences he went through. He is grateful to his counsellor for helping him be a better person.
“Our generation doesn’t highlight mental health as they should and struggles with it. If you have something to talk about, talk it out as soon as possible with somebody who can genuinely help you out.”
Akash wants everyone to take mental health as seriously as physical help. It doesn’t matter how big or small the issue is, but it is always better to reach out for help when you need a little support. Just like how Akash was able to heal, everyone will heal with a bit of support from a professional.
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