They say, “Once you tell a lie, all your truths become questionable”, and sure enough, we all have lied or been lied to at one point or another. It is a basic human tendency to lie, but what happens when our loved one starts to lie to our face repeatedly? We would get frustrated and storm out, right? Experts say it is not an ideal way to deal with the anxiety caused by lies.
Twenty-one-year-old Abhinav Choudhary who’s doing his B.Tech shares his story on how he started to react more calmly to his close friends when they lied to him. He had a few sets of close friends with whom he talked daily. The trouble started when he realised one of his friends had been lying to him about a discreet relationship issue for a long time. Since then, Abhinav found it very hard to trust anyone after that. When he started getting overworked on this issue, he decided to talk it out to a counsellor.
“My counsellor helped me to calm down, which helped me to see my issue more clearly.”
Abhinav got in touch with YourDOST counsellor, Theema Sharma. Abhinav was allowed to talk about everything that was bothering him, and he brought out all his frustration. Theema helped him calm down and asked him to talk about it once he felt a little more relaxed. This gave him time to vent out all his frustration.
Theema asked Abhinav to jot down everything that bothered him on a piece of paper and tear it apart. This was a technique that Abhinav found helpful as he was able to take away his overthinking. He was also asked to read books and engage himself in other activities to avoid constant negative thoughts about the things that are bothering him.
“I followed all the advice that the counsellor gave me. Initially, it was difficult, but I got used to it.”
These techniques helped Abhinav take a step back from reacting negatively to a situation that he felt was bothering him. He was also able to focus on himself and do things that he liked. He was able to deal with the frustration whenever he knew his friends were lying to him. When he felt frustrated, he wrote down his feelings on a piece of paper and tore it away. This helped him to direct his negative emotions more positively.
“I started to be more independent. My counsellor treated me with care and listened to all my problems.”
Abhinav is grateful to his counsellor for letting him vent out all his issues and for being very patient with him. Abhinav wants everyone to try therapy as each person works differently, and none will have the exact solutions to the same problems. “There is no substitute for a counsellor. Each person has different issues, which they deal with in different ways. So they should go to a counsellor if they want to feel better.”, says Abhinav.
If you are doubtful of seeking therapy, Abhinav wants you to write down all the positives and negatives of getting out of counselling and then making a call for yourself. It is okay even to give it a try once before you ultimately decide.
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