How Parantap Got Over His Fear of Falling in Love

3 minutes

I was in a relationship and my girlfriend broke up with me

“The heart was made to be broken” – Oscar Wilde

Mr Wilde lived in a very different time, where one was probably asked to “snap out of it” when they suffered heartbreak, and swallow the consequent difficulties they faced.

Parantap, 22 was wise enough to know that “snapping out” never works. A dual degree student at IIT Kharagpur, India’s first IIT, he decided to seek external help.

So what was this heartbreak exactly that affected him so much?

I had been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 2 months when one day she suddenly broke up with me.

The immediate aftermath was very difficult for him.

It was a horrible feeling. I felt completely helpless. She was my first love. I got scared of talking to other girls just thinking – what if I fall in love again.”

Parantap had been doing great academically and career-wise throughout college time. But he felt things just weren’t going his way when it came to his relationships. Dealing with this breakup got too much for him and he decided to seek help from YourDOST. He connected with Counselor, Ms Swati Sunita and kicked off his journey.

In a matter of days, Paratap and his girlfriend were back together. But were the bad days really gone? This is a question that seemed to haunt him.

I love my girlfriend but since the breakup I could not trust her

“Yes, I like my girlfriend a lot. But since the break-up, I’m unable to trust her much. She is trying her best to make amends. But I’m unable to get over the feeling that she might leave me again.”

Parantap felt worried about his future and couldn’t stop thinking about what if he’s left alone again. This is what Swati and Parantap continued to work on. At the same time, they dug into his other problems too. Coming from a family of high achievers, Parantap always felt immense pressure from his parents to do well academically and career-wise. He has always outshined his family’s expectations but the pressure has always been unrelenting. With therapy, he realised that a lot of that pressure might be self-inflicted.

Therapy has really helped me understand where I’m thinking wrong. Swati would constantly ask me questions to understand and challenge my thought process which made me realise my mistakes.

Parantap himself notices the changes he has experienced since his counselling started.

She suggested I read Eat, Pray, Love and watch Anne with an E

“I feel less pressure from parents. I also feel that many of my issues have started getting resolved to a certain extent.”

He fondly remembers some of the exercises Swati gave him.

“She asked me to read 2 books – Feeling Good and Eat Pray & Love, as well as watch the Netflix series – Anne with an “E”. They were great suggestions and I found comfort in them”

Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.


Parantap’s Warrior Tips:
1. It’s important to ditch the negative and embrace the positive
2. It’s ok to make mistakes in thinking. The important part is to learn from them
3. Don’t be too hard on yourself

 

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YourDOST is an Online Emotional Wellness Coach. Through YourDOST anyone can Sign Up and anonymously seek advice and guidance from Counsellors, Psychologists, Special Friends, Mentors and other experienced individuals.

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