My Wife’s Periods Are Killing Our Marriage!

2 minutes

Question: I am a 30-year-old man married to a 27-year-old woman. Since 3 years of our marriage, we have had a fairly good relationship. No problems whatsoever. But no couple stays without a quarrel or a misunderstanding, right? So, the same has been true in my life.

I have noticed a particular trend in my relationship with my wife. We have a major quarrel which leads to a brief separation and then a reunion whenever she is going through her periods, especially towards the 6th or 7th day.

I want to ask if all females going through a hormonal change during their monthly cycle also go through a mental change – i.e. they get more suspicious, deviate from the actual topic of the fight, have a deficit of trust and make a big family drama out of a trivial issue?

I have been experiencing a lot of stress because of these monthly fights, please guide me on how to get rid of these problems? – By Anonymous

Answer by Aishwarya Sathyanarayanan: Firstly, I must appreciate you for the fact that despite your hardships, you are willing to try and understand things from your wife’s perspective. This is a very healthy, albeit rare quality.

Mood swings around the menstrual cycle are in fact quite common in women. From what you have said, your wife may be suffering from extreme mood swings causing irritability and irrational behavior. It is possible that these are being caused by hormonal imbalance throughout her cycle; especially since you say she is normal towards 6th, the 7th day when typically, the hormones also reach a base level.

It is advisable that you take your wife to a gynecologist so that any hormonal abnormalities can be ruled out. It may be helpful to sit down and talk with your wife during her calmer days, to know if there is something that is particularly bothering her. It would also be beneficial for her to seek therapy with an expert where she can better vent and develop coping mechanisms.

I understand that you must be going through a very challenging and demanding situation. Know that you are not alone in this and given the right mode of treatment, the problem can be curtailed. Take care and all the best!

Source: TOI
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Aishwarya is an Expert at YourDOST. She has an MSc in Cognitive Neuropsychology from University of Essex, with a focus in developmental neuropsychological problems. She has conducted numerous workshops for counselors, psychologists and mental health workers. She has also conducted training sessions for teachers in understanding learning disabilities, working with special children and their parents. Aishwarya has extensively worked in the field of de-addiction, substance and behavioral; and continues to work with the juvenile correction home children. Her sessions draw from a wide array of neuroscientific approaches, spiritual psychology, CBT, cognitive approach, mindfulness, and EFT. She is also a certified NLP practitioner. Her approach focuses on integrating deviant behaviour to mainstream and moving past the stigma. Being an artist herself, she believes art is one of the most effective medium to express oneself. She is a singer, composer and finds solace in zen-doodles.