I Am An Introvert: How Do I Speak Up In A Group?

4 minutes


Do you get very anxious and stressed in a party full of people? Do you feel energized when you focus deeply on subjects which interests you? If your answers to these questions are Yes! and Yes! you’re probably an introvert. I emphasize on probably because most people who are shy to talk to people think that they are introverts but are not. Introverts are people who live in their own Human-sized hamster ball and doesn’t get energy from interacting with other people. They tend to see other people as obnoxious predators who are trying to steal their energy and that’s why the hamster ball.

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Susan Cain in her book ‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts‘ defines introversion and extroversion as:
Introversion- along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness- is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living in the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are.
Extroversion- is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.

Don’t see introversion as something that should be cured, instead embrace who you are and try to make best of it. You’ll be amazed to know that one of the best showmen of our age Steve Jobs is an introvert. How can he deliver such amazing speeches and seem so sociable being an introvert? you may ask. In contrast to what we think Introverts can be effective communicators and exhibit strong social skills, too, as long as the issues they’re discussing interest them.

Source: candornews.com

Trying to enjoy people’s company will enable you to socialize easily and efficiently. Even though you believe being with people is emotionally draining, behavior stretching can actually change your beliefs and therefore your way of being. Start easy. Talk to people with the same interests as you, ask your friends to introduce you to mutual friends and join clubs which support your interests.

Don’t exhaust yourself. If you feel tired from all the social contact, don’t worry it’s normal! Your brain isn’t used to exercising the social muscle, so give it a rest and return to it tomorrow. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. This one is key and applies to things besides this as well. Accept that you will feel awkward at times, but also tell yourself it’s a construct of your mind. Other people won’t actually start out paying enough attention to a stranger to see if they seem ‘awkward’.

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Laugh things off (healthily), and smile. Don’t box yourself in before others do (and probably weren’t planning on a lot of times). An introvert doesn’t need a whole gang of friends. A few well-chosen friends, mentors may be quite sufficient. That being said, remember that introverts are powerful, dedicated set of individuals who can contribute a huge amount quietly. I strongly recommend reading Susan Cain’s “Quiet: The power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” as it is very helpful and provides a deep insight into understanding introversion. I emphasize the importance of understanding yourself and embracing it by ending this with her quote

Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured…Spend your free the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.

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About the Author:
An engineer by qualification and voracious reader, Vamshi Krishna wants to make an impact on our education system by bringing positive change in the students. He is technology savvy and also interested in human psychology. Through Your DOST he wants to make his opinion count.

Vamshi Krishna

An engineer by qualification and voracious reader, Vamshi Krishna wants to make an impact on our education system by bringing positive change in the students. He is technology savvy and also interested in human psychology. Through Your DOST he wants to make his opinion count.

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