All of our mental checklists tend to include a dream college, dream job, and a dream relationship. Although attaining the first two has clear instructions, finding an ideal partner is a little trickier. There are a variety of factors that could go wrong or just not go our way. Except, what if it wasn’t the potential partners, or the universe, making it difficult to find love but actually us being unprepared? Have you ever found yourself asking –
Am I actually ready to take that leap into a real relationship?
You wish there was an easy way to find out, don’t you? Well, fret not, because we have compiled eight signs to help you figure out whether you’re ready for a mature interdependent relationship.
1. Inadequate self-love
When a person practices self-love, they are growth-centric, introspective, self-respecting, and honest. They then bring truth, respect, insight, and progression into their relationship as well. A lack of self-love can lead to fear, which in turn breeds self-centeredness. This leads to insecurity, possessiveness, confusion, doubt, etc., that are relationship damaging qualities.
2. Excessive need for appreciation
Individuals with high self-esteem are also self-content. They understand their strengths and weaknesses, are comfortable with themselves and do not need frequent reassurance from their partner. People with poor self-esteem have lesser insight into themselves. They tend to over-analyze or underestimate issues, both leading to constant tension in relationships and a higher than necessary need for appreciation.
3. Deflecting questions outside the comfort zone
Individuals that are comfortable with any area of inquiry, are better suited for relationships. Either they already have clarity and can respond honestly, or introspect and reach an answer. Individuals that resist these areas of self-inquiry can feel offended with such questions and thus unable to connect with their partner on a deeper level.
4. Avoidance of conflict
Every healthy relationship has conflicts. Addressing and resolving these conflicts is necessary for growth. Individuals who find it difficult to resolve conflicts either actively avoid them or live in a world of lies they create for themselves, both eventually leading to a fallout between partners.
5. Avoiding eye-contact
Consistent eye-contact increases comfort and intimacy. An inability to establish eye-contact or shifty eyes can be indicators of low self-confidence. This lack of self-confidence can lead to clinginess, pathological dependence, or unrealistic expectations from a relationship.
6. Inconsistency between words and actions
Trust and faith are essential building blocks of relationships. Inco in one’s words and actions lead to mistrust. This can become an obstacle in establishing a mutually reliable relationship.
7. Dismissive of discussions on certain issues
Some issues can be important for one partner and insignificant for the other. For a good relationship, both partners need to respect the other’s side. Dismissing, judging, or criticizing concerns of your partner can lead to an imbalance of power within the relationship and neither partner feels loved or heard.
8. Unreasonably rigid values, assumptions, or expectations
We all define love, togetherness, compatibility, etc. in our own terms. When these terms do not accommodate your partner’s terms, then these definitions in themselves can be reasons for distress. Good flexible values and healthy communication instead of unhealthy assumptions can create an inclusive space and scope for growth in the relationship.
Readiness for a relationship is essential to avoid damage to the other person or relationship and instead create a harmonious environment for love, growth, and care. You can always be on the lookout for these signs in yourself or your partner and address them. Every one of us is capable and deserving of love, we just need to be ready to put in the work and be aware of any unhealthy attitudes we may have or harmful behaviors we may exhibit.
Do you think you’re not ready for a relationship but would like to change that? We’re here to help. Talk to an Expert at YourDOST today, for personalized guidance.