There are times in life when you have a problem, and you can also find a solution yourself. But you are stuck and cannot take the initiative. With a little push, you can get past the hurdles in a jiffy. All you need is a little initiative from you and a helping hand. That’s how Aryan, a 20-year old engineering student proved his courage and determination to get over his impediments.
Says Aryan, “I had issues dealing with WhatsApp, Emails, and chats. I had always been very focused on my career, never wanted disturbances in life. But here I was distracted. There are major imbalances in the hormones between 18-24 years of age. I realised I was emotionally disturbed. There were problems due to relationships too.”
While many young men his age might get into a whirlpool of emotions, Aryan took charge. He saw that inherently he had a solution to his problems, but he was stuck somewhere. On the other hand, he had heard what wonders psychology could do. Since his high school days, Aryan had been reading on psychology, observing animals and humans. Someone might go happily to work, but come home worriedly, for instance – and he wondered ‘why’. He also saw that humans have desires, unlike animals that are just content with food. Naturally, there were larger behavioural patterns for human beings! He knew somewhere that if he could learn to control his emotions, he could be more successful than he was then. He suddenly thought that if he had to get the better out of him, he had to see a psychologist.
Talking about his relationship he said: “I was not in any relationship, but was attracted to a particular person. This was affecting me because I was wasting my time thinking about her and looking at her picture losing about two hours of precious time each day.”
Was he frustrated or helpless in the relationship?
Yes, because I was not in love, I only had the need. I neither wanted the relationship to grow emotionally from the other person nor did I want to devote time to a relationship. I felt I was caught in a trap.
With the realisation that he was whiling away the precious hours of his life, he chose to consult YourDOST. While his counsellors saw that Aryan sort of knew what to do, but was stuck, they helped him out. They helped him to rectify his thinking patterns and develop patience.
Besides his relationship problem, Aryan was not able to think through things. His phone would ring, but he would be unable to reply, leaving the caller frustrated. “I wanted patience. I was not able to think but was only responding passively.”
His psychologists advised him to have patience in his situation. There were thoughts that he didn’t have to waste his energies upon. Then some thoughts warned him as to whether he should think about it responsibly or not. Then he devised something clever. He visualised setting a “Delete button” to get rid of the unnecessary thoughts. He was teaching himself what kind of thoughts he should pay attention to!
So, what were the tips and tricks through Aryan’s counselling process at YourDOST?
“I was in aggression. I was advised to just focus on myself. Make myself free, train the mind to shift to the constructive side. I already had hobbies. I already had dedication towards my career. I was advised to channel my energies towards my career. But I was still not on track. It has been hitting me for the past 6-7 months. New challenges would come every day. But with the counselling, I began to learn from them. I try to be focussed. Now I am on track by 60%. I am fairly focused”.
How has Aryan improved overall since started taking counselling?
“The one thing I realised after the counselling began was that if you want a solution to your problems, you must discuss your case with your counsellor with total transparency. If it is your fault, you will learn from it, if it is not your fault you will get an experience. For example, in computer science, if I hide a code, it can harm my software or the programme. By opening up to my counsellor, I have learned not to fear or hesitate, but to face the challenges with confidence. I can now analyse and get to the root of the problem.”
Aryan sought counselling to better himself. But most people don’t do that. What’s his advice on that?
In India, the general belief is that if you are going to a psychologist, you must be mad. My advice to people is – don’t hesitate because it is about yourself. Just understand why you want to see the psychologist and why you are going there. Do not think about society. If a person thinks like that he will not grow.
Aryan is grateful to YourDOST for how he has found the better version of himself now. “I came to know about YourDOST through my college campus. YourDOST is providing a very big opportunity for people who are fearing to talk out their minds. Amidst the fear of what people might say, a person can consult a psychologist from his house/his room. That’s the biggest benefit. You can also consult at any time as per your convenience as opposed to as per the psychologist’s convenience.
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