Am I Cheating Myself?

4 minutes

That day, my mind was shouting loud at me to concentrate in Hindi but I was completely ignoring the advice and reluctantly indulged myself in past happenings. I might have cleared my Hindi examination in the last semester if I brought my mind seriously. As I noted above, I was engaged in thinking around my past happenings; the incidents which had already taken place and left me injured. Exactly, I was building the same, but with the little difference and that is in the former situation someone special left me with the dark memories and in the later I myself was doing this pleasure. My past ruined my present. To whom should I blame? My special person; my mind; my heart; my choice. Then I found my answer, in every question there is one similarity and that is “My” and it means “Me”. I am the creator of my own fate. I lived that past, the special person was chosen by me. I can’t blame anyone except myself. Humans usually blame the state of affairs, their intellect or nerve in such circumstances. But whom you will blame now if your mind is warning you, but you still ignoring it.

When I got the score card that red ink was eye catching. I shouted loudly, screamed, I found myself nowhere. Being a university topper I never had expected such grades or never had imagined to face such a spot in life but I have to because of myself. 


A diabetic patient knows consuming sweet will definitely harm his health but he still continuous to have it. He is addicted to it, the same as a smoker. Whosoever smokes knows very well that “smoking is injurious to health”. We beg for our healthy and lucky life, nobody calls for God to lead him out. Then why these people are acting like this? Why these people are smoking, drinking, etc. It is their choice of surviving. How can someone be happy injuring to themselves only? Our habits are the utmost reason of our addictions. I was among those 6 students who failed in the exam. My Hindi is not that impressive but I know that I was not meant to be failed. I must put double of my diligence. My mind was advising me to centralize on the test but I wishfully indulged myself somewhere else. Although I knew the consequences, after that I was not too bothered. Only those scores bothered me afterwards.  

Time heals every wound. Time teaches every lesson. Time is the power, we can never have it, but we can always respect it. Ask yourself once that why you are warding off the internal voice? We are neglecting the advice because it is not advising according to our choice but it is advised according to the situation demands. One must be adaptive in nature. The situation always demands the dynamic change in oneself to cope up. We are always hesitant to take such changes because it pressures us to step out of our comfort zone and we never flush it to break out of our comfort level. That’s why we do what we want instead what the situation demands.

Today one may arise question regarding how to cope up with the change, the situation demands. I can only say a strong mind set with the positivity can only assume the dynamic modification. Cheating yourself is like digging the pit in your path. Cheating yourself is never fruitful; it will keep you in a mess and it takes a lot time to come up because it has been created by you. Be reasonable with yourself so that you can play fair with others.

Swatilina Barik

Swatilina, a lawyer by profession is a die-hard music fan. She invests her time in reading books. She is a sports enthusiast and follows football religiously. She loves travelling and explore new things. She likes to express her opinion through her writing. Through Your DOST, she wants to reach the masses and spread awareness about things that matter.