Deepak (name changed) is a PhD student at the Tata Institute of Fundamental Research (TIFR) in Mumbai. A Punjabi by birth, Deepak was born in the holy city of Amritsar, near the Golden Temple, a sacred shrine for the Sikhs.
Deepak’s father was in the defence service, and like most army kids, due to the nature of his father’s job, Deepak had his fair share of moving across the country.
He’s lived in cities like Coimbatore, Chandigarh, and Srinagar. Deepak lived with his grandparents in Amritsar during the first few years when his father constantly shifted. Being the only grandkid to live with his grandparents, he remembers receiving extra attention and love from his Nana and Nani.
However, when his parents moved to Tamil Nadu, Deepak moved with them. He missed his grandparents and struggled to adapt to the new environment. He also felt the same about missing older friends when moving from Coimbatore to Srinagar.
“I realised my emotional side, that I was not adaptive to new environments immediately.”
During times like this, the family became his anchor, and they continue to be. He remembers another incident from his childhood that reminded him of how important family is during tough times.
“My Maasi’s husband is in the police and has worked on many important cases. Out of revenge, someone who knew killed both my maasi and naani.”
However, he powered through these little hiccups and went to the Tata Institute of Fundamental Research (TIFR). A PhD is always a rigorous process, and soon, Deepak found himself occupied with research and work.
During that time, he made a friend who became one of his closest friends in no time. They often studied together, and she would help him manage the course load better.
“And because of her, I eventually survived here because most people were of a different ethnicity than mine.”
However, the situation changes when he starts to view this person as more of a friend in a romantic context. Since the person was a close friend, he needed clarification about his next steps, and he doubted whether she would reciprocate his feelings.
In addition, their friendship went through some turmoil. He struggled to understand her thinking and was unsure how to define this new equation.
Deepak had heard that TIFR partnered with YourDOST when he joined his institute. Now in emotional turmoil, he decided to speak to a counselor about what he was experiencing.
“There was a point when I even thought I should stop going to the institute. It was affecting my diet as well.”
He logged onto the platform and booked a session with Ms Navya Chauhan. During their first session, he told her everything about what he was experiencing and how he was also finding it hard to work.
Ms Chauhan helped him navigate his feelings through practical strategies, such as journaling pros and cons, focusing on work, and gradually distancing himself from the individual.
“I felt free after talking to someone listening to me and giving me only a few suggestions and a way out of this.”
Feeling lighter in terms of his thoughts, the changes reflected in Deepak’s lifestyle as well. Deepak’s appetite also returned to normal, and he was sleeping better.
“I started to accept the situation as it was and handled it in the best possible way”.
Deepak rates himself a 4 out of 5 in terms of feeling better. He is glad to have found himself again through therapy.
Deepak’s Warrior Tips:
1.“When you feel like a situation has ruined your life, you must learn to zoom out. Life is much bigger than what we think of at that time.”
2.“Therapy is a tool to find clarity, acceptance, and strength to move forward.”
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