Trigger warning: Mention of Abuse and Self-Harm
“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humour and hurt.” – Erma Bombeck.
Meet Ram (name changed), a 20-year-old student pursuing his BSc Computer Science at Bennett University, who survived living on those thin lines.
He comes from Delhi and explains that he has been a studious kid since childhood, with a passion for mathematics, computer science, and technology. His hobbies mainly involve reading books and music, and he adds that these are his favourite interests to date.
Ram says that growing up, he didn’t have a good relationship with his family, and how things went at home had a significant impact on his personality. Initially, as a kid, Ram would turn every challenge he faced into a joke as an escape. Eventually, his sense of humour became his coping mechanism.
Even though Ram had an abusive childhood, he was close to his family. During his second semester in college, he explains that he felt lonely when everybody moved to a different country.
“I know my attachment to them was unhealthy for me, but then, due to my social anxiety, I couldn’t make any friends in college, and most of my friends from school and my girlfriend already lived in a different country. When my family also moved, it was extremely hard to cope.”
He started going into a spiral of thoughts, and it was consuming Ram. He wanted to talk to a professional and began looking for a therapist. He explains that the few private practitioners he contacted refused to help as it wasn’t their area of expertise. Ram recollects that the whole process of just trying out therapist after therapist was getting expensive for him.
It was during this time that he received an email from his university regarding their subscription to the YourDOST platform to provide free counseling for the students. At the time when he was almost losing hope, Ram said he felt good about this initiative and started using the platform.
Browsing through the experts, he eventually connected with Ms Arya Kaushik and found her to be sweet and understanding. He adds that her intention to help him seemed truly genuine, and he opened up about everything to her.
Ram spoke to the counselor about how his thoughts were pushing him towards negativity, expecting the worst things every single day.
“My situation got to a point where I just couldn’t get up from my bed. Forget going to classes, I couldn’t even bring myself to do any day-to-day activities. It was hard for my roommates to handle me as well. Even though I felt really bad for them, I didn’t know what to do.”
He explains that there was a moment when he even thought about self-harming, as he didn’t have the strength to keep living that way. Understanding Ram’s dire need of someone compassionate, the counselor let him pour out his emotions without interruptions.
“Initially, I had a lot to say, she never tried to organise my sharing part and just let me go on because that’s exactly what I needed. It was really sweet of her to take things slowly and delicately.”
The counselor gradually started giving him tasks from personal hygiene to self-care to productivity. Since Ram loves to read, Ms Arya also suggested he write down his thoughts and emotions whenever he felt overwhelmed.
He realised that he was overwhelming himself and his close circle. Eventually, Ram started following through with all the tasks as he felt bad for hurting and troubling the people around him.
Ram elaborates that the counselor helped him gain grip on reality and adopt new habits that would help him be better. He adds that he stopped being hard on himself and started practising self-love.
As Ram improves, he is working on disassociating his humours from his traumas while keeping his personality intact. He thanks his counselor for all of the progress he has made in therapy.
“My counselor was good, and she gave effective ways to get better and heal. I would say all the synonyms of gratitude are meant to be expressed to her.”
Ram rates himself 4.5 out of 5, and we are happy to be part of his journey and hope to see him successful in the future.
Ram’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Many people treat friends as therapists; while that’s a comfortable thought, you need professional help to make progress.”
2.“Focus on finding a compatible therapist, as that becomes a significant factor for your experience.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
