“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” – Brené Brown.
Subhashini is a creative 22-year-old student of Knitwear Design at the National Institute of Fashion Technology. She says that singing is her passion, and words sometimes cannot reach what one would say she can say through songs.
She hails from Darbhanga, Bihar, and isn’t only having her dreams of studying at one of the finest fashion institutes in the country but also on a journey of healing that began long before she set foot in NIFT.
Subhashini’s childhood was far from a bed of roses. Born into a joint family where the lines between tradition and roles are not drawn too sharply, she is the eldest daughter of her mother, who had been working as a teacher in another city, and her father, who also worked as a principal away from home.
“I had to cook, look after my sisters, and manage things around the house, all while my father was mostly absent due to his job as a principal. No one could guide me, and my relationship with my parents was not good either.”
Her mother’s absence during critical moments left a deep hollow in her life. Subhashini always wanted someone to show her the way, especially during her formative years.
“It is difficult when the person you wish to learn from is not there. My father could do everything in his power, but then, some things only a mother can help you with.”
However, this was not the end of her troubles. According to Subhashini, as a child, she was faced with horrific and traumatic instances of abuse at and outside the home.
“I was so young, just in LKG or UKG, when it happened. Then, much later, when I was in 6th grade, it again took place in my own house. I have been carrying these memories for so long, and it was hard to even speak about them”.
All those terrible memories seemed locked away, buried inside her for years. She carried such unspoken traumas around her with advancing age. It was difficult to connect deeply with people because Subhashini felt like she did not have anyone to talk to, someone who would not judge her or just listen.
Around this time, she learned about YourDOST, NIFT’s official mental health partner, through college. However, she did not decide to come to therapy overnight.
“I was talking to one junior and thought there must be someone to listen to me. At that moment, I decided to give therapy a shot.”
Meeting her counsellor, Ms Tulika, was like meeting a friend she never knew she needed.
“From the very first day, I just loved her. I told her everything—things I’d kept bottled up for years. It did not feel like therapy; it felt like talking to a friend,”
What made this therapeutic experience even more special was the space Tulika created for Subhashini to rediscover herself. While an outgoing personality had always surrounded her, by the time she sought therapy, she had withdrawn into a shell.
“I didn’t want to talk to anyone or make new friends. I was just sitting alone, lost in my world.”
Ms Tulika urged her to re-engage in activities that brought her pleasure, like making friends, singing, or simply doing things that make her happy.
“One of the first things she asked me to do was list three things that make me happy, and then I returned to her with my answers. It felt like I was slowly coming back to life.”
She even taught Subhashini techniques for emotional release, such as writing down her thoughts and talking to herself.
“She would say things like ‘put everything on paper’ or even record myself talking when I had nobody to talk to.”
Such small yet significant acts helped her carry out the weighing of traumas, slowly lifting the emotional burden she had been carrying on her for so long. For Subhashini, the most profound change is learning to let go.
“I opened up to Tulika, ma’am. She is the only person I ever spoke to about what happened to me in 6th grade. It took me years to acknowledge what happened to me in 6th grade.”
Subhashini has immense gratitude towards her counsellor and does not shy away from expressing her feelings towards her.
“I miss her sometimes. She was the first person who truly listened to me.”
Subhashini’s journey hasn’t ended, though. These healing steps gave her a new sense of confidence and freedom from past silence.
“I am at a 3.5 out of 5 as far as feeling better, but I’m proud of how far I have come. Standing up to my problems confidently is my biggest improvement.”
We at YourDOST are in awe of Subhashini’s courage and journey. We wish her happiness in the future!
Subhashini’s Warrior tips:
1.“It may feel challenging to push yourself out of your comfort zone but trust me, it’s worth it.”
2.“The change of perspective is all you need to move forward. It’s better to push yourself and get started with therapy.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
