We all remember Ross from “Friends”, who sways through the ups and downs of his relationships and career. Similarly, we all face moments of overwhelming stress and self-doubt; thus, balancing personal challenges with professional aspirations feels like a never-ending quest for self-worth. With the right method and attitude, it’s just a matter of time before you start handling everything like a pro.
Meet Ishaan, a 25-year-old PhD student at IIT BHU who is navigating life’s challenges.
Hailing from the small town of Ambikapur, Chattisgarh, a beautiful hill station, Ishaan was raised in a close-knit family.
“I used to live in a joint family setup with my father, a retired bank employee, my mother, a homemaker, and my two older siblings. I currently live alone in Varanasi. I’m the youngest and have always shared a strong bond with my family. My sister got married four years back and my brother lives in Delhi”
Growing up, Ishaan’s hobbies included painting and sketching, which he used to enhance his creativity. Over the last 2-3 years, he has developed a passion for cooking and finds it to be a soothing activity that helps him stop overthinking. Spending time with loved ones and watching light-hearted slice-of-life movies also brings him joy.
Ishaan first heard about YourDOST through his university, which partners with the organization as their official mental health partner. Here, he met Ms Noureen Choudhary, his counsellor, who made a strong first impression with her attentiveness and patience.
“She hears me out first and then goes to conclusions. She helped me see things from a different perspective and broaden my horizons. She has been accommodating, kind, and empathetic towards me.”
Ishaan was going through a rough patch in his relationship. He felt undervalued and gave more than he received, which was a result of abandonment issues and insecurities he faced from a young age.
“I used to struggle with self-worth and over-reliance on my partner and it took me over a month to convince myself to end the relationship. I found my closure and it was the last nail in the coffin. I’m glad there was no looking back ever since.”
In addition to relationship concerns, the pressure of being a PhD scholar weighed heavily on him. The stress of balancing work and personal life, coupled with a lack of appreciation and constant criticism, left him feeling demotivated.
“I was always stressed and overwhelmed. I did not feel like getting out of bed, and simple chores seemed like herculean tasks. Sleeping was my only solace. I realised I couldn’t continue this way and turned to therapy for help.”
Ishaan’s goal was to become a better person and improve life for himself and his mother. Noureen introduced him to activities and techniques to manage his stress and emotions. She encouraged him to maintain a stress journal, noting down tasks and emotions to understand his stress levels and moods.
“I used to struggle with loneliness earlier but now I spend more time with loved ones and engage in hobbies I enjoy. My therapist helped me understand different attachment styles and cognitive distortions that influenced my behaviour for the better.”
The positive changes in Ishaan’s life are profound as the relationship he has with his partner now is very stable and secure compared to how insecure and attached he was before.
“I used to hesitate to express my feelings, but now I can be myself without pretending. I have clear boundaries and high levels of assertiveness. A sense of confidence has been instilled in me, and I can now face my emotions without running away from them.”
Ishaan is deeply grateful to his counsellors.
“Ms Noureen has been with me for almost a year. She is kind, sensible, and empathetic and has been very patient and supportive, questioning my emotions and helping me see things from different perspectives. She has contributed a lot to my mental health, and I’m deeply grateful to her. I also owe a lot to my earlier counsellor, Mr Karthikey Jharial, who paved the way for my mental well-being.”
In terms of feeling better, Ishaan rates himself a 4 out of 5. To him, improvement means feeling better and lighter, with a clearer mental space.
We believe Ishaan is just moments away from hitting the golden 5 mark, and we wish him luck in all his future endeavours!
Ishaan’s Warrior Tips:
1.“We have to be our own saviours and get out of the mess our mind creates, as we can’t expect anyone else to do that for us.”
2.“Always come forward take the initiative for your own wellness and reach out for help.”
3.“Until you ask for something, the answer will always be a no, so do not hesitate to ask.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
