Embracing Self-Confidence like a Pro!

8 minutes

A deer who lived in a forest came across a beautiful lake one morning. The crystal clear lake mirrored the world like it is without any distortions. The deer found herself gazing into the lake upon her reflection. During this time, she noticed the spots scattered elegantly across her coat. Yet she couldn’t escape the feeling of doubt consuming her mind. Are these spots flaws? That’s all she could think of.

The self-criticism did not stop there. When the deer saw other creatures of the forest passing by, she observed their reflection to be flawless. The doubt gnawed further, “Why do some shine differently? Why am I not like them?

For the next few days, the deer felt restless, she couldn’t escape the feeling of less and less. A wise old owl finally knocked on her door one day. He told her that “our flaws, quirks, personalities” make us unique but never less. He said that comparing ourselves to others hinders growth and blinds us from appreciating our innate qualities. The owl opened the deer’s mind with a renewed perspective.

From that day on, the deer never doubted her abilities. She strolled proudly among her peers, standing tall with confidence. She was free from the comparison traps and accepted herself as she was, paving the way for her self-confidence to flourish. 

Women and Self-Confidence

Just like the Deer, we journey through seasons of doubt, uncertainty, moments of inadequacy, and the trap of unfairly measuring ourselves against our peers. Sometimes it becomes a never-ending cycle of questioning. Self-confidence comes not only from external encouragement but from our internal dialogue as well.

As women, we all have that nagging voice, the “inner critic” that scrutinizes our every action. According to research by The Atlantic, women are more prone to underestimate their potential and performance than men. Lacking confidence may prevent you from making your voice heard or even prevent you from stepping up when opportunities come knocking.

Many of us face moments of self-doubt and diminished self-worth often. However, building self-confidence requires learning to address and silence those critical thoughts that echo through our heads.

Being Confident in Career

According to the Women’s Confidence Report, raising confidence enables women to actively participate in entrepreneurship, politics, and other arenas, benefitting society. Another research suggests that almost 87% of the Fortune 500 companies with women leadership perform better financially compared to firms without women CEOs.

Confidence brings a lot of benefits. However, numerous misconceptions act as an obstacle to women embracing confidence.

Here’s something refreshing though. Being confident has nothing to do with knowing how to exactly do something. You don’t have to always rely on evidence of past success in a particular skill to do something. As a woman, being confident has everything to do with believing that you are capable of doing something. For instance, when applying for jobs, if you come across a job description where you fulfill 40% of the requirements, that is okay. You don’t need to be a 100% match to propel yourself forward. It’s all about having that one simple unflinching belief in yourself. 

5 Awesome Ways To Build Confidence In The Workplace

1. Try Positive Visualization:

Our brain is a fascinating organ. With the help of this seemingly intricate organ, we can make the best use of Positive Visualisation. Research states that Positive Visualisation can activate particular neural pathways that help us form new habits and behaviors. There are collections of cells in our brain that come together to create memories, commanding our brain to act in a way that we visualize.

How to start?

1. Choose a quiet location: Select a peaceful place free from distractions, where you can relax without interruptions.
2. Start with 5 minutes. When you get comfortable increasing your sessions you can gradually increase your duration. 

3. Imagine a vivid scene. Visualise the setting, characters, the outcome intensely.
4. Try to be consistent and track your progress. You can also consider keeping a journal to document your journey.

Of course, all of this is taking place without you doing any physical activity but it achieves a similar result. So indulge in sky-is-the-limit imagination! Visualize your way through it all! Imagine your best self doing the best things.

2. Dig deep into your self-limiting beliefs:

Imagine, where we as humanity would be right now if we were just limited to discovering fire. The world would have never gone through an evolution of ideas, constantly changing and progressing, making our lives better. For a long time now, women have been susceptible to self-limiting beliefs that hinder them from growing confident and realizing their potential.

For starters, you can conquer your self-limiting beliefs by replacing every negative word with a positive affirmation. If a thought like “I’m not cut out for this” pops up, replace it with “I’ve got what it takes, I’ll conquer this”. Don’t be like the deer from the story before the wise old owl intervened.

A report by Harvard Business also says listening openly to praises or compliments imbibes positive feedback into your self-image.

3. Reflect on other’s confidence and learn from them:

Confidence mirrors confidence. Witnessing self-assured women excel in their careers may present you with a sneak peek into their behaviors and communication styles. Try and see if you can imbibe those qualities in yourself. Listen to that TED talk again, or rewatch that movie that had so much influence on you. Write down the impactful factors. Was it the speaker’s voice or her body language? Use these insights to get inspired!

4. Eliminate self-doubt:

“Am I not good enough to get the job done”? “What if I can’t finish the work on time”? “Am I even cut out to doing a job this big”? Sound familiar? Self-doubt creeps in when we least expect it, casting shadows on our accomplishments. But don’t worry, we have some really interesting techniques you can practice to simmer it down.

Take a deep breath and try to think of your doubt as an actual person with a physical form. Visualise the way they would look like. In many instances, it could either be your nagging boss, a judgy old neighborhood lady, or simply a question mark. But make sure you name this form. Distinguish your doubt’s voice from your own beliefs. It’s common for doubt to pop up whenever you are working on a high-stakes project. Instead of giving in to that thought, try to separate it from your thinking.

5. Flex yourself and your achievements:

Multiple studies have shown that women tend to credit situations/people for the reason of their success. Unfair societal expectations are the number one reason why women do this. The fear of being labeled as competitive, immodest, or boastful prevents them from owning up to their success. But it is important to practice recognizing your success from time to time. Make sure to record your achievement in your phone or diary. When in self-doubt, refer to these feats of yours to remember how awesome you are.

Promote yourself! Showcase your skills and values to the right people. It’s not bragging; it’s ensuring others know what makes you great. Start by listing achievements big and small, creating a “Confidence Backpack” full of success stories. Use power posing to boost confidence. Think of it as a skill to develop


Confidence is like a muscle. The more you use it the stronger it gets

Developing self-confidence is not challenging; however, integrating it into your life creates a significant impact. The road to success is always filled with numerous obstacles, and possessing self-confidence makes the job a little easier. Always remember, that failures and setbacks are NEVER indicators of incompetence but growth opportunities.

As you move along the path of life, we wish that confidence brightens throughout the way to success, fulfillment, and more! 

Team YourDOST

YourDOST is an Online Emotional Wellness Coach. Through YourDOST anyone can Sign Up and anonymously seek advice and guidance from Counsellors, Psychologists, Special Friends, Mentors and other experienced individuals.