Liberating Herself from Self-esteem Issues with Therapy: This is Anita’s Story

6 minutes

Culturally rooted in the lands of Haryana and Rajasthan and currently residing in Odisha,

Anita is a 22 year old young woman who comes from a joint family of 9 and has a die-hard passion for engineering. 

“I am smart and that is one fact that I know about myself.” 

She knew she was always good in maths and physics from her childhood days and hence opened her heart to the world of engineering. Currently pursuing her degree from a renowned institute. 

Aside from her passion for engineering, Anita also has 2 years of martial arts along with dancing in her hobbies bucket  

However our young brave heart began experiencing self esteem issues as she proceeded in her life. She recalls that she had always been an under confident child, and her parents constantly made her feel like she was not made for big things. 

“It was lock-down for 2 years and living with my parents became difficult.” 

Being constantly surrounded by her family members restricted Anita from having her personal space. For the first time, she was closely experiencing the after effects of her mother’s actions and words. 

Unable to understand her mother’s gestures and the reason behind her reactions, Anita decided to explore the various parenting techniques. She found herself deeply engrossed in the concepts of family well-being and child rearing practices. 

The remarks she heard about herself throughout childhood finally made sense to her. 

“I have always taken myself back from opportunities, because I was always told that I won’t be able to do anything.” 

For the longest time, those words felt like a home full of genuine concern from her parents, but little did she know about the effect of that over her personality. The aftermath of those words surfaced only around the pandemic where she was required to be with her family 24/7. 

She began noticing how difficult it was becoming to get out of bed everyday, resist binge watching shows and have heartfelt conversations with people. She slowly began excluding herself from all the extracurricular activities (like cinematography) that she once enrolled herself in. Her heart raced not out of excitement but out of anxiety. She felt numb. 

“I regret leaving all those things now, but there is no going back to it.” 

Talking to friends felt unsympathetic as they were not the ones going through what she was facing, and talking to family seemed close to impossible. 

“I was told that I should not be discussing my problems with people outside.” 

All these things began worrying her and that’s when she decided to take a step for herself. She knew she couldn’t go on like this, and reached out to YourDOST through her organisation’s association. 

“I am so happy to have met Jacob, he is very patient and calm, and I have changed a lot since I met him.”

Her first session helped her unwind all her thoughts that she had pent up. Breaking free from the shackles of those words that wore her inner Anita down. 

She recounts that her counselors were patient and empathetic towards her. Their solution-oriented approach and various techniques helped Anita to organise her thoughts better. She needed to connect to herself. 

“I was given tasks where I had to bake for myself, click my pictures, follow a hair care routine, make a playlist of my favourite songs and make it a habit to journal regularly.”

All these activities were like a restart button on her life where she accepted herself as the main character of her story. 

Following up with all the tasks seemed challenging at first but Anita was gradually able to work her way through. Minor changes in her day to day behaviour added to her self-confidence little by little. 

She began to BELIEVE in herself, that she was made for so many things and deserved so much more. She sat for her job interviews and absolutely nailed them. She was earlier facing problems in communicating with her partner but now she knew what she wanted. 

“I know how important it is to be confident and I am ready to take that leap of faith in myself and make my own decisions.” 

After sitting through all those counseling sessions, today her relationship with her mother has improved. She has realised that she needed to let go of her past and start making decisions in her present situation.

She knows she is getting better each day. At times her worries try to resurface where she sometimes blames herself for being incapable but today she knows how to deal with them better.

“I still do it but the magnitude of it is less now.” 

Her counseling sessions have helped her connect to herself, reduced her anxiety attacks and boosted her confidence. She happily states that:

“Now I actually enjoy watching series and movies rather than binge watching them to escape my reality.”  

Anita came a long way and has a long way to go, but today she has transformed into an even stronger version of herself and has rated herself a whopping 4 out of 5 in terms of getting better. 

With her new found confidence,  she is now sitting for placements in software engineering and ready to take control of her life.

Anita’s Warrior Tips:
1. “Be patient, it will take time.” Therapy will not magically solve your problems .
2. Give as much time to your mental health as you would give to your physical health.
3. Free yourself from society’s neglection of panic or anxiety attacks. It is normal to have them and seek help to solve them.

Team YourDOST

YourDOST is an Online Emotional Wellness Coach. Through YourDOST anyone can Sign Up and anonymously seek advice and guidance from Counsellors, Psychologists, Special Friends, Mentors and other experienced individuals.