“Telling someone with OCD to stop obsessing about something is like telling someone who’s having an asthma attack to just breathe normally.” – Tamara Ireland Stone.
A writer by heart, a flute artist and a photographer by hobby, and a Software Developer by profession – this is 23-year-old Aman’s journey! Aman is someone who is filled with a wide range of talents. Aman grew up in Bharatpur, Rajasthan and then relocated to Jaipur to pursue his degree in Engineering from JK Lakshmipat University. After graduation, Aman chose freelancing as a Software Developer so that he could find time for other activities as well. Aman usually works in production for magazines. His work has been featured in many magazines like Elle Decor, Ideal Homes etc.
“I was suddenly viewing the world from an individual perspective. I have explored a lot during the four years of my college life and I discovered that some part of me had been suffering from childhood trauma.”
Aman had no idea that little things in his childhood would have such a big impact on his personality and behaviour. It seemed small but could change the way one lives. Aman, during his college years, was an active consumer of alcohol. He would hang around with people of the same interests and enjoy the shortcut of escaping from reality. Once, Aman got into an argument with a faculty member. Instead of facing the situation, Aman chose to miss the classes for that particular subject for the rest of the semester. Soon, Aman was drastically noticing changes in his behaviour. The strong and confident Aman was adapting to a timid version of himself.
“I remember moments when I stopped in between talking. I had developed a fear of standing in front of a crowd too.”
Aman decided to quit drinking which only got him to experience certain withdrawal symptoms. His nights became sleepless with an explosion of thoughts swaying in. Aman had developed constant obsessive thoughts that he had no control of. Moreover, his compulsions were not only limited to his thoughts but also reflected in his behaviour as well. His OCD had made him grow obsessed with cleanliness and orderly behaviour.
“My studies were adversely affected extensively and I was used to the idea of running away from my fears by then.”
Eventually, Aman was diagnosed with OCD by a counselor from YourDOST, Dr Rajni Paliwal. Aman got connected with YourDOST through his university’s resources. Prior to Rajni’s diagnosis, Aman had no clue what OCD was. As he became more aware of the symptoms regarding the same, Aman started getting a clear picture of his situation.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a disorder in which people have recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations (obsessions) that make them feel driven to do something repetitively (compulsions). It can also be accompanied by checking compulsion, magical and irrational thinking.
“The outer world around you is the reflection of your inner world. So, your inner world must be sorted.”
For Aman, there was no going back after he discovered his OCD. Aman knew that the only way to reach the other side was to go through it. OCD is a behavioural disorder, so being aware of it and living with the OCD monster was very important which meant acceptance of the same. So, as advised by his counselor, Aman decided to follow a series of techniques.
Aman was suggested to maintain an anxiety graph. He was also guided on methods to distract his mind as well as practice mindfulness. Although it was extremely difficult for Aman, he managed to take control of his demons. But the last challenge was his compulsive thoughts which needed further medication.
“Once you face your fears, the confidence is reached to another level. Now I challenge myself to cross another milestone by avoiding drinking for a month and I can accomplish it.”
Aman had finally taken a step towards betterment. He extends his warm thanks to Dr Rajni Paliwal who supported him and taught him how to live his life happily. Not only was he confident, but he was also able to set himself free of his compulsions. Aman took a leap of faith and he somehow crossed the finish line. Aman rates his overall progress through counseling with a 3.5 out of 5 implying the fact that there is room for improvement.
“Due to the problems in my head, I was not able to lead what it’s called a “normal life”. I reached out to a counselor to get my life back on track.”
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