One of the hardest things is to let go, to summon all our strength to move on from something we are attached to and yet we know that it isn’t right for our own happiness and Ansh, for that matter, is a true inspiration.
My relationship lasted for a year and I had to end it because it was getting toxic for me. It was difficult, I knew what was coming next but sometimes, you’ve to make tough choices.
At a young age of 21, Ansh understood the importance of prioritising what he wants from life over other’s expectations.
As someone who’s practical and prefers keeping up with the fast paced world, learning new things and meeting people, Ansh didn’t appreciate how his parents back at home were living on the other side of the veil.
“When I went home after almost 2 years of my engineering college, things didn’t go as expected. Having experienced a whole different life back in college, it was dispiriting to see that my parents perspective and way of living hadn’t changed much.”
As the equation that Ansh shared with his parents deteriorated, he further felt disconnected.
On the other hand, he also faced compatibility issues with his partner.
“Over time, I realised that we were two different kinds of people. I’m emotional and organised who gets concerned about little things while she was reckless in some ways.”
In the past, Ansh had also experienced a traumatic event which is still too painful for him to talk about. Because of the ensuing panic attacks and anxiety, he wanted to avoid anything that could possibly act as a trigger and reopen old wounds.
She wasn’t a bad person but I can say that her approach towards things and situations were different from mine. It affected me and I couldn’t risk going back to feeling traumatised.
Gathering all his courage and setting his vulnerability aside, Ansh decided to end his relationship and went on to overcome each phase of moving ahead.
“First things first, it was going to be tough as it was my first serious relationship but I did have some things in mind for moving on.”
Moving away from anything requires vigorous dedication to not look back and Ansh knew this too well. He cut loose all the ties that could lead both of them, him and his partner back to each other.
“I blocked her in all manners. Even if I wanted to reach out to her, I didn’t. I made it tough for myself and even for her to get in touch so that there couldn’t be any chance of relapse or going back to something that I knew wasn’t right for me.”
On his continued attempts to draw a line for good, Ansh made sure that he doesn’t fall prey to his weaknesses.
“It was clear that she would try to reach out to me, I knew her too well and if I let that happen, it would make me weak. So I had to shut all the doors that could lead her to me until I reached a state of mind where nothing bothered me.”
Ansh believed that it was necessary for him to reach a point where he’d be able to talk to her and yet not feel anything and for that, the distance was necessary. After 3 months, he unblocked her, step by step starting from social media accounts to WhatsApp to phone calls.
The distancing was the 1st step I took to move on and 2nd was counseling.
The pressure to move ahead in life from a past relationship was still fresh and the additional family worries had put Ansh in a rough spot for 3 to 4 months after which he started feeling isolated.
“After my break up, I found myself completely alone. I knew that something was wrong and that no one could help me at that moment. So I had to stand up for myself and seek help.”
As a person who strongly believed in meaningful and long-term relationships, Ansh had dedicated a lot of his time and energy into his relationship. The break up, therefore, took an emotional toll on him.
“When you’re with a person, you can’t think on your own, make your own decisions. Everything involves your partner and you’ve to consider their preferences which sometimes may not align with yours. So a lot of energy goes into balancing yours and your partner’s expectations.”
At this point, Ansh realised that if he had put the amount of energy that he invested into an unhappy relationship on himself, he’d have made the best out of it.
I’m focusing on myself now and my counseling is the sole support that I relied on during my toughest phase.
When Ansh connected with YourDOST’s Mr. Abrar Raza the first time, he was in his 1st year of engineering and was going through certain issues. Later when he found himself dealing with post break up concerns, he knew that he had to connect with him again.
“I’m fortunate to have Abrar’s guidance as I had tried connecting with 3-4 experts and he turned out to be just the right expert for me. When you share your feelings and problems with someone, you expect them to walk with you and meet you at the same level as yours. Abrar understood me at that level.”
One major aspect of his counseling sessions that Ansh appreciates is the comfort that he could find in his conversations with Abrar.
“He didn’t try to preach and rather listened to me. He framed questions around me – how I felt and what I think I can do about my issues. So through this two way introspection, the underlying answers made it to the surface. It was really good.”
Ansh had everything that it takes to overcome his difficult emotions and when he got the right guidance from Abrar, he started following them.
“I wrote my thoughts down and engaged myself in productive activities. I like to read, listen to music, prioritise myself, I’m active on social media as an influencer, I love all kinds of artwork, photography and meeting people. It was Abrar who boosted me to go in this positive direction.”
For Ansh, his therapy has helped him maintain his ‘drive’, something that he says that each and every person has.
“I believe that to do anything in life, we all have a drive that keeps us going and that never dies. That drive may fluctuate at times due to the problems that we come across and when that happened to me, Abrar helped me move forward.”
The best part about Ansh’s journey is that his therapy has influenced him as a whole. It has patched up every aspect of his life.
With my expert’s help, I’ve been able to give my complete self to everything that I love doing. It has helped me channelise my energy into the right way.
For people who usually hesitate from seeking help or improving themselves, Ansh says –
“There’s a thing called making choices in life and these are small things you do on a regular basis like getting up early or reading a single page from a book. Similarly seeking help is a choice you make for yourself. Focus on small choices – when you hit rock bottom, what choices do you want to make?”
There was a time when Ansh hadn’t even thought that he’d connect with a professional someday. He remembers how he decided to skip partying with friends post exams and rather attend a seminar about emotional wellness from YourDOST. This decision, according to Ansh, made a huge difference in his life.
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