Question: Hi, I have been in a relationship since 5 years, but in-between I had cheated on my boyfriend. I agree it is obvious that he’s bound to get angry, but things got sorted out eventually. Strangely now, when everything was going alright and we were even planning to get married, he suddenly told me that he doesn’t want to continue with me and that he’s not interested in me. Also, not to forget, I got pregnant a few months back and then we had mutually decided to get the baby aborted because it was too early. I fear it was the pregnancy that made him react in this particular fashion. What’s weird is the fact that his parents want him to settle down ASAP, while mine are ready to wait. I am really confused about the state of affairs in my life and don’t know what to do. Please help me – By Anonymous
Answer by Gayathri Rao: Hello, I understand you must be in great turmoil and confused about what is going on and where your relationship is headed. Emotionally, it must have been tough on you to have to go through an abortion and I’m glad you had support during that trying phase.To take any relationship forward in any way, both people involved must be on the same page. It would be wise to sit down with him and have a good discussion on what is making him get scared suddenly, as you mentioned both of you had sorted things out. His interest in you wouldn’t normally suddenly fall for no reason, but is rather an expression of a deeper issue, that needs to be sorted out first, before you’ll can take any major decision. It would be logical to assume that it was the pregnancy that instilled this fear in him, but let us avoid jumping to conclusions, and instead keep communication channels open to understand what is going on through his mind. This relationship after all, does have a long history and there were things that made you’ll stay together despite the ups and downs. Harness these positives, work on re-igniting the love you share. Healthy relationships have elements of good communication, trust, mutual respect, good conflict resolution and decision making strategies. Look to see how you can weave these elements into your relationship, adequately.Till that can be established, take time out to work on yourself, to improve your emotional and physical wellness. Sort out your support system, rope them in to keep your spirits up and to keep you occupied. Start to invest energy and time into your passions and hobbies. As an additional suggestion, it may help if you both could explore visiting a therapist together.
Answer by Gayathri Rao: Hello, I understand you must be in great turmoil and confused about what is going on and where your relationship is headed. Emotionally, it must have been tough on you to have to go through an abortion and I’m glad you had support during that trying phase.To take any relationship forward in any way, both people involved must be on the same page. It would be wise to sit down with him and have a good discussion on what is making him get scared suddenly, as you mentioned both of you had sorted things out. His interest in you wouldn’t normally suddenly fall for no reason, but is rather an expression of a deeper issue, that needs to be sorted out first, before you’ll can take any major decision. It would be logical to assume that it was the pregnancy that instilled this fear in him, but let us avoid jumping to conclusions, and instead keep communication channels open to understand what is going on through his mind. This relationship after all, does have a long history and there were things that made you’ll stay together despite the ups and downs. Harness these positives, work on re-igniting the love you share. Healthy relationships have elements of good communication, trust, mutual respect, good conflict resolution and decision making strategies. Look to see how you can weave these elements into your relationship, adequately.Till that can be established, take time out to work on yourself, to improve your emotional and physical wellness. Sort out your support system, rope them in to keep your spirits up and to keep you occupied. Start to invest energy and time into your passions and hobbies. As an additional suggestion, it may help if you both could explore visiting a therapist together.
Keep your chin up and take care!
Source: TOI
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
