Is Being A Mother A Woman’s Ultimate Destiny?

5 minutes
Sara is 40 years old, working with Amazon as a product manager. She is a hardworking, sensible and a strong woman. Her husband is an investment banker working in Singapore. He visits his wife once in a month for 2-3 days. They have been living an affluent lifestyle with this arrangement for 10 years now.
With growing age, the pressure on Sara, from in-laws and her own parents, for having a baby has become inconsolable. Due to this constant questioning by family and friends, she has also started believing that ultimate destiny of a woman is to be a mother. Now her biological clock is not allowing her to conceive by natural methods. She decides to go for an IVF treatment.
What does Sara want? Has anyone asked her?
While Sara was having her IVF treatment, even being married, she was always seen alone in the hospital. She went through the complete IVS cycle for 2 years and her first attempt failed, she couldn’t get pregnant. She was devastated and didn’t know what to do. She was blaming herself for letting her family down . 
She tried the treatment all over again again and her second IVF cycle was also unsuccessful.
Even though it is possible to go through a third IVS cycle with the complete process of hormonal injection again but doctors at the fertility clinic felt she was not ready mentally. They suggested her to get in touch with our expert.
Sara meets our expert. Counselor tried to make her comfortable with small talks about her general routine. Sara started opening up and telling her how much she loves working. After returning from work too, she keeps her laptop on her stomach and lies on bed and keeps working.
After few sessions and constant support from counselor, she opened up more and said she doesn’t feel baby is what is missing in her life. All she longs for is a supportive family which is there when she needs, with whom she is able to share her life. She felt that her husband is also very caring and nice but she is wants him to stay with her. Baby is just for her inlaws and parents who thinks that will complete her life. 
She also believes, that once she has a baby her husband will be more around them and so she wants to go ahead with the treatment. She thinks her husband might move back with them once she has a baby.
Our experts tried to understand Sara’s interest and discovered that was she was very spiritual and inclined towards meditation. Experts suggested her to follow a routine with some relaxation and meditation techniques. She also told Sara that keeping laptop on stomach is very harmful to a woman’s body. Laptop emits harmful radiation which causes can cause hormonal  disorders. 
In subsequent sessions, counselor also followed visualization therapy with Sara and asked her to imagine the things she absolutely loved doing. Once Sara started revealing her fantasies – playing with sand on a beach, indulging with dark chocolates etc, she was asked to imagine her doing it for 10 minutes. She kept doing this exercise once a day daily and this helped Sara to feel more cheerful and filled her organs with lot of positive energy.
As Sara was opting for IVF cycle for the third time and it is very important that she understands the chances for success are less (close to 35%). It is good to be hopeful but it is equally important to have the courage to face boldly if anything goes wrong.
In the following sessions, when Sara was more stable and cheerful, our expert told her that it is important in life to accept both good and bad events with open mind. One should be happy about their effort and not just rely on the outcome.
With these sessions Sara was prepared to take things objectively. Sara was stronger by now and have realized that she can find happiness by keeping her thoughts right.
This time her treatment went successful and Sara is now 7 months pregnant. She is still in touch with her expert and calls her whenever she is down. She is prepared to face any outcome and is a much stronger person now. Her positive attitude has made her relationship with her husband too much better. She is able to share her thoughts with him and both are looking forward for the baby.
It is important in life to be positive. If you have that positive energy driving you, you take control of your situations and surrounding. Your behavior is not random, it is a result of your thinking so keep your thinking positive to live a beautiful life.
If you are going through a difficult phase or some confusion, Talk to our Experts online for guidance.
Note: This is based on real life cases handled by Ramya Poojari. We have changed the names to maintain anonymity.

Richa singh

Richa is the Co-founder and Conceptualizer of YourDOST – an emotional wellness solution where users can anonymously seek support from psychologists and other trained individuals. Richa holds a bachelor's degree from IIT Guwahati. Before YourDOST, she worked in the areas of product management, and user experience design.