Are you an angry person? Well, we all are angry and at the very same continuum but the expression of it is of different intensities and ways. Question is why do people feel angry? People get angry all the time for various reasons around them. We cannot define all the reasons in a small blog. However, I feel that before we decide to deal with anger, we better have an idea with what are we dealing with, isn’t that right?
Anger is an emotion and it is not always negative, if we use it constructively. Anger is also an indicator that something going on is unacceptable – example anger when certain politician has not fulfilled his promises, children are not obedient enough, or if we don’t accomplish a task that we took up, or if we see people not performing their duties and that is hampering your set target.
What can Anger do to us?
- Increase in blood pressure
- Irritability
- Gastrointestinal issues
- Early death, because a person who is always or frequently angry, harms himself more than others do to them and vice-versa
- Render our rational mind paralyzed. An overwhelming anger is not only toxic to our working efficiency but also it is toxic to your health.
Anger can be right too… Aristotle has rightly talked about the rights in Anger. Oh Yes, anger can be right but only in the following conditions:
- When we have to maintain the demeanor and discipline of the organization or work/ work schedule to meet a desired target. This implies display of non-consensus with the right person.
- Justified intensity of our expression. An extreme expression of anger is wrong because by now we have not only revealed that we are incapable of handling ourselves but also we have given people some pointers to judge us.
- Expressing anger at the right moment and in right way, when it’s yielding. Timing is very important. We cannot get angry and blame people, for what has happened 10 years back.
Here is a what we need to do when the hulk inside you decides to smash..
- Ask yourself why you are angry?
- Let ego take a back seat – Maybe the issue is not a big deal. However, your lurking inner need might be at stake. Sometimes, we are angry with someone because they have hurt our big ego, any mistake they commit even if really small will bring out unjust reaction from us.
- If anger is justified, express it assertively or else just disrupt the angry thought pattern by listening to music, dancing, painting, reading, humor, etc. Basically, use creative and stimulating things. Meditate or just reflect upon yourself.
- Put yourself in the other person’s shoe. What would you do, how would you manage and react, if you were in the other person’s place? Question yourself about these. The key is in developing some empathy, tolerance and patience. Don’t you wish to be dealt the same way?
- When an incident has already occurred, try to figure out why anger outburst occurred from both the sides? Be the bigger person to say a sorry and resolve, when you have actually played a hurtful roll in the whole situation, even if it is by a small fraction.Try to analyze how frequently, why, with whom, and what many thing angry you.
Do’s and Don’ts
- Avoid Alcohol and Smoking
- Don’t create an army of people, for and against
- Don’t suppress an unresolved issue; rather you should talk it out constructively.
- Do surround yourself with positive minds.
With emotions overwhelming riding and draining our brains, our perception of reality may be falsified. We are as angry as we feel and the way we perceive the situation. For instance, if you perceive your neighbor to be a bad person, anything, even if useful, coming from their mouth would always be offensive to you.
