The style of parenting you adopt plays a crucial role in raising your child. Your child’s behavior will depend on the values you teach.They learn a lot from your behavior.
According to a research by Richard Weissbourd, a Harvard psychologist about 80 percent of the youth said that their parents found their achievement or happiness more important than anything else. It was observed that the interviewees were three times more likely to agree that
“My parents are prouder if I get good grades in my classes than if I’m a caring community member in class and school.”
Why Is This Even Important?
Children need personal guidance to learn to be considerate and morally acceptable. If a child has to grow up to be a caring, respectful and responsible adult it is directly proportional to how the parents raise them.
Concluding that a child is good or bad will do good to him/her. You can try using the following research-based ways to help your child be kind.
Prioritize caring for others for your child:
Unintentionally parents tend to prioritize their child’s happiness and achievements over the concern of others. As parents, you need to teach the child to learn to be friendlier towards others. Children should understand that hurting others cannot bring them happiness.
The way you communicate creates an impact on your child. By doing simple things like saying “You must be kind to others” instead of “Make sure you are happy” can help your child understand. Respect your child when you speak even when you are tired, distracted or angry. Try explaining the importance of being kind to them.
Give your child a chance to show gratitude:
Children need to practice caring and being considerate of others. Studies show that people who express gratitude regularly are more likely to be helpful and compassionate. Let them share things like their food, colors or even books.
There is no reason to reward your child for every helpful act such as helping in the kitchen. They should not think that being helpful will get them some reward. But don’t forget to thank them whenever they are kind enough to help you in certain tasks.
Broaden the circle of concern for your child:
Children need to broaden their area of showing compassion and gratitude. School faculties, family, and friends are self-understood but you need to let them go beyond this circle. They need to be humble and show gratitude to their people they meet in their daily lives.
Encourage your child to be caring for those who are themselves vulnerable. Let them not discriminate between a bus driver, waitress.
Be a role model to your child:
An easy and very helpful way to make your child learn ethical values is by following it yourself. You can be a role model for your child. Respect your child’s thinking and always listen to their perspective. Don’t be prejudiced about their actions.
Acknowledge your mistakes and flaws. Be honest and hair with them. Preach humility and vulnerability by following it with your child and others. This will make the child learn from you.
Help your child handle negative emotions:
Your child may need help to learn to cope with negative emotions in a productive manner. Don’t let your negative emotions such as anger, shame, envy and others create a negative impact on your child.
A simple way to teach your child to calm down anger is to ask him/her to take a deep breath through the nose and exhale through the mouth and count till five. Practice this when your child is calm. The next time you find them getting upset, remind them about the steps and start doing with them. You will find that your child has calmed down without being destructive.