Ego is the veil between who you think you are and who you actually are. On one side of the veil is ME, hostility, war, madness, materialism and behind the veil lies WE, friendliness, peace, wisdom and spirituality.
The whole idea is to go behind the veil, to drop the E and just let it GO.
दम्भो दर्पोऽभिमानश्च क्रोध: पारुष्यमेव च |
अज्ञानं चाभिजातस्य पार्थ सम्पदमासुरीम् || 4||
Verse 4 of chapter 16, Bhagavad Gita says- O Parth, the qualities of those who possess a demonic nature are hypocrisy, arrogance, conceit, anger, harshness, and ignorance.
Ego is conceit in its inflated form. This is not about the healthy pride. It is what makes you feel superior and other’s inferior. But, this false sense of feeling superior makes you miserable in the long run. You always feel anxious and start attaching results to your ego. In fact, do it right now. Stop reading this post for a minute and contemplate on the source of any of your anxiety. Many will have to do with the future projections.
“What if I don’t get a job?”
“What if his parents would not agree to our marriage?”
“What if I cannot earn money?”
And any other what if blah blah blah. Future doesn’t exist anywhere but in your head. You have dealt with bad stuff in the past. You will again do it in the future. Stop connecting every piece of your puzzle. Don’t worry if dots don’t connect now. Your ego will tell you that once everything falls into place you will be the happiest person on earth. WRONG. It’s the other way round. Discover your peace and everything will fall into its place. Actually, you will observe everything was always at its place.
Here is how you can discover your peace & get over your ego:
The sudden surge of emotions makes you act impulsively and hinders you to think intelligently. Being patient enables you to evaluate all events in a calm and self-possessed manner and thereby arrive at the most intelligent conclusions and the most beneficial decisions. It may or may not turn out to be a great decision in future but that is the best thing you did.
Being patient also ensure that you see subtle things because you are not in haste. And haste makes waste.
When you learn and practice patience you don’t get as angry, stressed or overwhelmed. You are more in control of your emotions and in a better position to deal with difficult situations with ease and poise.
Tip: For a week, a pledge that you will listen to the speaker first, wait for 2 seconds and then speak. Many times, we always keep things ready to speak and in the process forget about listening. This practice makes you not only a better listener but also a patient one.
Getting impatient won’t help to make things faster. With technology all around you want everything faster. Fast food, less travel time, and quick relationships. If you are that guy or a girl who needs things fast, and later get frustrated. STOP. Don’t rush to things. If it happens naturally, no harm in that. But don’t force things to happen immediately. In nature, things work at their own pace. Everything is so beautiful.
Tip: Take deep breaths before you make a move. It instantly slows down everything which was rushing past us. It makes you wonder why the hell you were ever worried.
When you listen intently you feel relaxed. It is much better than talking. Think of it this way: Prayer is when you talk to God, meditation is when you listen to God. It just cuts you off from the regular chatter and transcends you to a lighter and peaceful state. It makes your mind cool off from all the chatter which happens inside. The observance has a great power. Just by observing your thoughts, you feel relaxed. Strictly speaking, that’s mindfulness and not meditation but hey! It works you to achieve a calm and composed state
Live in the present
The past is gone and the future is yet to arrive. You have no control over both. Worrying about them is like explaining Russian to a six-month-old baby. It is neither required nor does it produce desirous results. 90% of the time you are either regretting your past or worrying about the future. How could you be at peace, when you don’t allow your mind to enjoy?
That’s easy. Just be in the moment. That doesn’t mean enjoying and just sitting idle all the time. That means giving your 100% in the current task. Enjoying it. Loving it. Living it. This gives you the little joy of accomplishment and you go to bed with a peaceful mind, leading to a great sleep and even greater morning the next day.
Comparing is bad. Life is not a lab experiment that everyone will get same results. Everyone is unique. Every experience is unique. Comparison leads to jealousy. Forget about peace then. It’s a downward spiral.
A great way to stop it is to bless someone with the same thing which made you jealous. Instead, say “I’m going to do great in my own way”. That kills all the comparison and you realize your own worth.
Realize your strengths and hone them to create your own niche. Make it something which gives you happiness. Your prosperity lies in that. Not comparing yourself to anyone else. A huge amount of gratefulness and freedom comes along when you find peace. And once your soul is full, ego will starve and die.