Infatuation is not quite the same thing as love, it is more like love’s shady second cousin who’s always borrowing money and can’t hold down a job. When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn’t need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example.
Now, in the long run, that’s just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it’s just what you’ve been searching for all these years.Is it love, obsession, infatuation?
Infatuation feels passionate and addictive but is ultimately insecure. When acceptance and admiration flow in our direction, we feel safe, happy and completely alive.
Real love grows out of the healing of our childhood wounds through the ups and downs of a relationship.
Here are some other ways to tell whether what you’re feeling is real love or just infatuation:
Infatuation is All About You
Your emotions, your loneliness your obsession, both good and bad? How empty your life. Hey! don’t be self centered now. Love becomes obsession and then it becomes all that matters.
Infatuation Has Expectations
When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Looking for perfection in a person brings too much expectations. When your expectations are not met, too many disappointments come. Learn to appreciate a person’s imperfections. In them, you will find perfection.
REAL Love is All About WE
Holding hands, for example, is a way to remember how it feels to say we are together. It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being. In all ups and downs you are together as “WE”.
REAL Love Begins From Within
Real love begins with feeling loveable, and it doesn’t depend on a partner doing something right. There’s nothing missing that you are looking to have filled by that significant other. Real love complements each partner’s strengths, accepts the weaknesses, and remains strong, reliable and steady in the face of challenges.
REAL Love is a Verb
Real love is not about just being “together”, but about showing up for each other during good times and bad. It’s loving your partner, not pulling away. It is about taking responsibility for your actions.
REAL Love is About Being Friends as Well as Lovers
Relationships are useless if you cant befriend each other. Share sorrow and joy, ups and downs. Real love is all about friendship.
When you see your partner through the eyes of real love, you will know that while your partner may not always make you happy, you love them nonetheless. That’s when you know you have arrived.
