A yellow magnificent flame sparkled brightly. That was the flame of the last candle standing on his 18th Birthday cake. As he made a wish and blew it, the flame wafted away, with the last chapter of his adolescence. The age of 18 when he legally attained adulthood. But did he truly see himself as an adult then?
When did you first feel like a grown up?
Was it the memorable day you got your driving license? Or the blissful moment when you first chugged a mug of beer? The night you lost your virginity? Or that exciting experience of your initial encounter with an A rated movie? The moment you realized you finally grew from a boy to a man and from a girl to a woman. Involving yourself in these actions only gives you a momentary satisfaction of transition, towards reaching the finish line of your teenage race. Permanent assurance? That’s a query yet to be answered…
You might have felt you “attained” adulthood at any of these stages, irrespective of your actual age. You no longer felt like a child as you were exposed to new phases of reality. Mere age and physical growth do not define your mental and emotional maturity.
The very word “ADULT” can be split into 5 segments containing qualities necessary to be imbibed in you for the development of your personality as a whole.
Evaluate and see for yourself how many of these do you possess!
A-ACCOUNTABLE
“When I used to have a girlfriend, I used to score low in my tests. Now that I don’t have one, I score well”, said a classmate of mine one day. What is the correlation between having a girlfriend and test scores? The direct relationship between the two variables only depends on a person’s inability to balance both a relationship and academics. Blaming another person for your own failures depicts unaccountability for your actions. As a baby, you would have cried unnecessarily or even littered the place. But no matter what, your parents would come and take care of you and wouldn’t hold you accountable for your deeds. As they knew that you were a baby and you weren’t even aware of the impact of your actions. As an adult, you are totally in control of your life. And life includes- decisions, challenges, and actions. Since you are the sculptor, holding the tools to chisel your life, only you have the ability to shape it. So take accountability for your creations.
D- DETACHMENT FROM EGO
EGO- A small 3 letter word that has the power to destroy a big 12 letter word-RELATIONSHIP. Ego has even the potential to ruin careers and kill talents. It is self-destructive. Getting attached to one’s ego has a detrimental effect similar to clinging on to that beautiful red rose, forgetting that along with its beauty and wonderful fragrance come the sharp thorns. The stronger a person’s hold, the deeper the wound. In a universe which is approximately 13.8 Billion years old, we are here for about a mere 75 years. That is how insignificant we are in comparison to this magnificent and gigantic universe. So it is time for you to get rooted to the ground and set your ego on fire.
U- UNDERSTANDING
Nita commented on Shivangi’s choice of western clothing once. “Shivangi has such poor taste in western clothing. She doesn’t know any of the recent trends in clothing and doesn’t wear anything in black. I hate her tacky choices.” I smiled at Nita and told her “Shivangi comes from an orthodox family. In her hometown, she only wears Indian clothing. Her parents do not encourage her to wear clothes that are black in color as they consider it to be a bad omen.” In a world population of about 7 Billion, each of us is 100% unique. Our upbringing, behavior, problems, physical appearances, inherent qualities and overall personality differ us from our peers. We interact with different kinds of people on a daily basis. Collective decisions for various issues involves interacting with people to reach a consensus. Be it a personal or a professional decision, there is a reason as to the way people have their own differing opinions. It is necessary to understand and respect each others beliefs.
L- LISTEN
“ Iss family mein sab upar upar se baat karte hai. Asli baat tho koi karta hi nahin hai”, this dialogue is from the movie Dil Dhadakne Do. In this movie, the family members lead hectic lives and are extremely caught up in their own worlds. This dysfunctional family gave rise to a variety of complications due to their lack of interest to communicate effectively with each other..When you listen to others, thoughts and ideas from them are directly transmitted to you. This will help you to broaden your horizons. Listening effectively with the intention to understand and not to reply, is the need of the hour.
T- TAKE A STAND
An information system performs the following functions-
1) Collects Raw data (input)
2) Processes It
3) Gives out Information (Output)
Our minds should be trained to work in the same manner. We collect data in the form of parents’ suggestions on career, friend’s advice on relationships and academics or content that we read on social media. This data should be analyzed and questioned before reaching to our own conclusions. It’s time we stop resorting to spoon feeding of opinions by others. Learn to take your own stand on matters. Be it as small as deciding a food item from a menu to a career-related decision. Put an end to indecisiveness and start taking a stand for what you truly believe in.
So you think you are an A-D-U-L-T? Accountable- Detached from EGO- Understanding-Listener-who Takes a Stand?
