Nilofar is a 26-year-old ambitious Software Engineer and an expressive writer who paints her words through her poems.
She works at TVS Supply Chain in Chennai, Tamilnadu. She switches on her smart brain mode at work and supercharges herself with poems and watching movies in her leisure time.
She was born in a small town in Thoothukudi, the ‘pearl city of India’. Nilofar lived there until she was in 12th grade and then moved to Chennai for her undergraduate studies, where she pursued her Bachelor of Technology degree. Even though she comes from a nuclear family of four, including her parents and sister, she grew up with many relatives.
“My childhood was joyful. My mom has three younger brothers, and my dad has four siblings. Since all of them, my grandparents and us, lived in close quarters, I had always had my cousins and uncles to have quality time with.”
Nilofar adds that being closer to the men in her family, she grew up confident, bold and rarely shy. Even outside her family, she hung out with her male friends as equally as her female friends till her school. Once she moved to the city for college, Nilofar found those personalities in her fading away.
After she finished college and settled down with a job and marriage, Nilofar found herself in a life-altering situation that made her completely shut down and hurt.
Nilofar explains that she was married to someone who wasn’t compatible, which shattered her beliefs about marriages and relationships. Seeing it not working, she separated from her ex-partner after three months of marriage and moved in with her grandmother in Chennai.
“Even after the relationship ended, moving on wasn’t easy for me. I felt lonely; I couldn’t trust anyone again; I couldn’t even accept the idea of forming a romantic relationship anymore.”
Seeing her struggle, her friends advised her to seek therapy, as they felt she had to vent her feelings. Nilofar also felt she could not go ahead with her life with the negative thoughts in her mind.
Her company arranged an in-person meeting with the expert from YourDOST through its tie-up with the platform. She decided to take just one session and see how it felt. As she poured her heart out, she felt relaxed. Nilofar recalls the experience of expressing the things buried in her mind to the therapist as relieving, as she finds it too hard to share her feelings with anyone.
Deciding to continue, Nilofar initially connected with the expert virtually and found the therapist to be empathetic, calm, and engaging. She recalls feeling a sense of comfort because the counselor was non-judgmental and had no bias.
Eventually, she started taking offline sessions as well and began to work on recovering. She expressed to the counselor how, after the issues from her marriage, she went utterly blank and didn’t even cry out.
“I couldn’t feel anything for a while. I woke up, ate, went to work, returned, slept. This was the routine, and I was numb. I felt that having a heartfelt moment wasn’t possible anymore.”
The counselor heard Nilofar and listened to her patiently, as it was her primary need. Since her career was also demanding, the counselor reduced her burden by giving her some exercises, like imaginary techniques to relax during a stressful situation.
That allowed Nilofar to free up her mind and work on her issues. Slowly, the therapist also helped her realise that everything that happened wasn’t her fault, and Nilofar stopped blaming herself for her situation.
“I was low and self-critical, and the session gave me clarity. The counselor made it clear with their real-life examples, and I don’t stress myself out by overthinking anymore.”
Nilofar explains that even her disturbed sleep routine was rectified once she made peace with what happened in the past. She felt ready to face her day-to-day stuff and could finally look forward to her future.
She adds that in the beginning, the reservations she had about therapy were broken, and she was surprised when the session worked. She says it restored her happiness and peace.
“My counselor never forced or pushed anything on me, but she beautifully managed to help me out of the tangles of my past and made me gain a vision for my future.”
As she thanks the counselor for clarifying all her questions and helping her through this challenging time, Nilofar rates herself 3 out of 5. She also feels grateful to her family for being supportive as she worked this out.
Seeing Nilofar move on and build a future for herself is heartwarming, and we are proud of her every progress.
Nilofar’s Warrior Tips:
1.“There should be no taboo in seeking the help we need; Therapy is a beautiful experience.”
2.“Don’t normalise discarding depression and stress; get an understanding of mental health.”
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