“You start projecting hurt and pain onto yourself when you don’t find closure.” – Jay Shetty.
Here is Vandita, a 25-year-old MBA student from Allahabad determined to raise about her pain and find her closure. She graduated with a BA-LLB Honors from Hidayadulla National Law University, Chhattisgarh.
She comes from a nuclear family of herself and her parents. As a single child, Vandita elucidates being a quiet and lonely kid, which made her develop an introverted personality. Vandita adds that her parents got her into reading books outside her curriculum early in her childhood.
“I have always been an imaginative kid. I find companionship in the stories I engage with, and it hasn’t changed even after I grew up. I escape into movies, novels, and music every chance I get.”
Vandita explains that except for when she was at school, she used to be alone at home, so books were also her coping mechanism. She developed an emotional distance from her parents as she grew up. It was hard for her when she took a year break after 12th grade to prepare for her law college entrance exams.
When she started college, although the new life was exciting at first, she couldn’t shake off the depressive feeling she was having since 2018. In addition, the pandemic affected Vandita’s family and made things worse.
“I just got out of an unhealthy relationship in 2021, and amidst the mental crisis, my father tested COVID-19 positive, which affected my family a lot.”
Even though fighting through the days, her father survived the pandemic, Vandita felt that 2021 ended up being the lowest year for her. Everything kept running through her mind. When the offline classes began again, for a few months, Vandita could focus on her academics and leave these issues behind.
As the college closed again for summer vacation, Vandita felt all her emotions rush back, and she couldn’t hold it together anymore. Even though she knew she was struggling, Vandita hadn’t tried to find a solution before that.
Towards the end of her fourth year, she was approaching the end of her studies and needed to figure out her future. She finally considered seeking help and contacted a professional through her college’s subscription to the YourDOST platform.
Vandita says that the therapists made her feel at ease throughout all the sessions and assured her that the interaction would be honest and genuine.
“It was the feeling that they were not there to diagnose and prescribe me something but rather there to help me navigate my way through the storms by listening and offering directions.”
Vandita was confused and overwhelmed. All the emotions and the pressure of her future together created chaos in her mind. She says she started doubting whether she was good enough for her parents and friends.
The counselor understood her issues and guided Vandita to find a calm mental space first. She encouraged her to speak her heart out and helped her navigate solutions to one problem at a time. She also helped Vandita express herself not just in the sessions but also to the people around her.
She adds that she also had a problem with confronting people. The counselor explained to Vandita why it was essential to take steps to apologise or initiate a difficult conversation sometimes.
“I know it’s a cliche, but for years, I have been trying to chase happiness and an ideal life. After the sessions, I figured I needed to stay in the present to feel happy.”
Realising this was hard for Vandita; however, she explains that her counselor assisted her in dealing with it by helping her feel grounded. She taught Vandita some imaginary techniques, like thinking of the past as a hologram, to help her understand that even though she can remember there, it’s not her reality anymore. These techniques aided Vandita in moving on from her past effectively.
Vandita expresses with confidence that she can finally let go of all her doubts and anxiety, be outspoken, and socialise with people better. Due to her improved interpersonal skills, she also felt that her relationships with people improved.
“I’m grateful to my counselor for getting here and being patient even when I postponed my sessions due to the busy schedule, for laughing at my jokes, and especially for validating everything I shared.”
Vandita adds that since her college offers its alumni the option to use the platform as well, she continued the sessions even after her final year. As she moves on, she rates herself 3.5 out of 5 and defines her improvement as the courage to start over every time she falls.
We admire her courage and hope to see her achieve remarkable success in the future.
Vandita’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Sometimes, we perceive our mental health issues as an external problem with someone. Until we analyse the issues closely, we often miss them.”
2.“Learn to be patient, and don’t be hard on yourself.”
3.“Self-love is not a cliche; it is crucial to take care of yourself.”
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