Vincent is a 25-year-old operations manager at Vodafone India Limited in Thane, Maharashtra. An avid nature enthusiast, he loves exploring nature through the lens of his camera and trekking through the mountains’ slopes.
He comes from a family of four, including his dad, a working professional, a stay-at-home mom, and a younger sister pursuing her undergraduate studies. Vincent explains that even when his family members are busy with their respective schedules, they find a way to spend quality time together.
“Like any other family, we have ups and downs, but we try to be harmonious most of the time. Being together as a family means more fun and contentment for us.”
Vincent adds that he was spontaneous, carefree, and enthusiastic until his teenage years, but with age, he became more focused on his studies and went from being an extrovert to an introvert.
Vincent explains that this change happened after he experienced bullying in school in his 8th and 9th grades. It was hard for him, and by the time he was in his second year of college, he had to push himself to socialise with anyone and get out of the safety net. He had finally reached the point of being an ambivert by the time he started working.
Around 2021, when things started to look up for Vincent, he met his next hurdle. He was going through a devastating breakup. Initially, he thought that he could handle it on his own, but as weeks passed, he couldn’t hold himself together and decided to seek professional help.
“The break up was too much for me; I couldn’t move forward even after months. I felt anger, guilt, sadness and hopelessness at the same time. I had to talk to someone because I didn’t want to be that way anymore.”
He explains that he was also worried about the financial dent therapy could cause in his life. That was when he came across the YourDOST banner near his office door. Enquiring it, he learned about his company’s subscription to the platform. Vincent logged into the website and connected with an expert.
He explains that he found the counselor friendly and honest and that the session differed greatly from what he expected. He adds that it was interactive and didn’t feel like a teacher-advising-the-student dynamic.
Vincent opened up to the counselor about how his day-to-day functioning became challenging for him and how every day, he was crying in the restroom without people noticing.
“I would go to the office and return, and if someone asked how my day went, I would go blank. Somedays, I even drenched my laptop keyboard with tears. Just existing felt impossible.”
Understanding Vincent’s piled-up emotions, the counselor made him sit with his feelings first. He explains that doing that played a significant part in helping Vincent go through the stages of grief.
She made him label his emotions and helped him better understand the triggers for his feelings. At the same time, she also used a technique of making Vincent ‘answer his own questions’.
“Whenever I asked her, ‘How do I move on?’ my counselor would tell me, ‘Sorry, no advice.’ Instead, she helped me stumble upon the answers by myself.”
Vincent elaborates that, in hindsight, he can see things logically, but when he was going through the situation, his counselor’s words immensely helped him grasp reality. He adds that every suggestion she gave paved the way for a long-term solution rather than a quick fix.
The counselor also helped Vincent deal with the trauma from his childhood and made him see his patterns better. He started feeling that he had become more self-aware. It took Vincent almost one and a half years of therapy and consistent effort to finally come out of the situation and move forward.
Vincent recollects going on blind dates as the therapist suggested, and seeing how quickly the conversations escalate to talking about the past; he realised many people feel the same way as him. He adds that therapy helped him show his vulnerability, understand the other person’s vulnerable states, and connect more.
“My therapist was pretty smart and knew what she was doing. Her approach seemed very natural, and she enabled me to help myself by building good emotional intelligence and resilience.”
He explains that after he learned to help himself, he could help the people around him as well, and he thanks his counselor for helping him develop this skill.
As he rates himself 4 out of 5, we are glad to be part of Vincent’s journey of moving forward in his life.
Vincent’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Being vulnerable is not weak; it shows how brave you are, regardless of your gender.”
2.“People underestimate the power of therapy; it can bring drastic changes in your life.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
