Marwa is a 26-year-old student from the Tata Institute of Fundamental Research (TIRF) in Hyderabad. She is pursuing her PhD in Biology.
Marwa is an only child to her parents. Due to her father’s job, she lived with them in Saudi Arabia until she finished school. She explained that she had been an extrovert throughout her school years, which her inner circle loved, as her interpersonal skills came naturally to her.
Marwa considers herself outspoken and likes to question things that don’t make sense to her. The family then moved to India to help Marwa pursue higher education. She explains that even though they were a nuclear family, they were close-knit with their extended family.
“I never felt like a single child after shifting to India because I was close to my cousins, uncles and aunts from both sides of the family.”
Marwa explains that even though she went to an Indian embassy school in Saudi Arabia, the women there had many restrictions, and their scope of learning was limited. As she transferred to India, she started reaching her full potential and explored her choices in the curriculum.
“From school, I have been a science enthusiast, and that’s why I tried to pursue an MBBS degree, but I realised that’s not my calling.”
Understanding her passion for science as a subject and not for studying for an MBBS degree, Marwa pursued her undergraduate and post-graduate studies, majoring in biology. During this phase, Marwa explains that her parents have supported her decisions. She also adds that as she grew, the support she received from family started turning into pressure and expectation, which Marwa sometimes finds difficult to deal with.
Marwa explains that sometimes, she manages the challenges of her parent’s expectations and academic demands by indulging in art and painting whenever she has free time.
“Till my post-graduate studies, I have never let any of my issues, from things at home to societal pressure, affect my academics. After I joined my PhD, things started changing.”
Even though she was nervous as her decision to pursue a doctorate was spur-of-the-moment, she was also excited. After a year of joining, Marwa started having career-related issues while facing other personal problems that overwhelmed her.
During the same phase, she attended the introductory sessions about her college TIRF, joining hands with YourDOST to provide service for the emotional well-being of students and faculty. Marwa thought a lot about it and didn’t want to miss an opportunity to explore and help herself. She decided to use the free subscription and sought help.
She started by taking the chat sessions, and once she found comfort, she opted for video call sessions with Ms Arya Kaushik. Marwa says that Ms Arya could match her frequency, and she felt like it could be a start in her journey towards healing.
“I was burned out and overwhelmed every time I went on the platform to talk to an expert. Being able to think I can work things out by talking to this person was a big deal for me.”
She started sharing her issues with her therapist and told her about some of the professional hurdles she was going through. Marwa explained that it was devastating and that nobody could support her through these emotional turmoils. She also had some health issues during the same time, which made it even more challenging for her to process things.
“The issues from my personal and professional life started taking a toll on both my mental and physical health. It was like a sudden pitfall, and I could neither take my peers nor my family’s support to stand with me in any of these because of my emotional constraints.”
She opened up to Ms Arya about how the situation negatively affected her confidence. Marwa added that she felt like an invisible factor despite people trying to get through to her and help her.
Delving into these thoughts and struggling to fight for herself, Marwa’s issues of anxiety issues started affecting her detrimentally. She elaborates that she had suffered from insomnia and anxiety for many years of her life. Since her parents were conservative, Marwa couldn’t ask them to let her go for therapy before joining TIRF as she was dependent on them financially.
However, a few people suggested that she quit her academic aspirations and take a break. Marwa explains that despite that, after coming so far, she wanted to figure things out and not give up, even if it wouldn’t be easy.
She began attending regular sessions with Ms. Arya, which allowed her to vent all her emotions. Marwa felt heard by the therapist, whom she describes as ’empathetic and nonjudgmental’.
“Sessions with my therapist are never overpowering, and even if there’s a behavioural change required from my side, she puts them in a suggestive and unbiased manner without making me feel bad or uncomfortable.”
Understanding that Marwa was looking for a space to process her emotions, the therapist took each session to lend her a hand as she worked out her issues on her own rather than taking a solution-oriented approach, says Marwa.
As she kept working on herself, Marwa noticed the intensity of her anxiety attacks reduced to a great extent. She explains that Ms Arya acknowledged her process every step of the way and had an open mind about evolving her techniques with each session.
Despite being an extrovert, Marwa explains that she never used to share her concerns related to her mental health with anyone as she thought it would burden the people around her. After taking therapy, she slowly changed her perspective and started communicating with her parents and her inner circle.
“I wouldn’t say I’m a completely different person now as I’m still in the process, but I can finally understand and resonate with my inner self. I see it as a big leap.”
She adds that despite the general perception that sharing our problems with a stranger, she felt extremely comfortable with Ms Arya as it validated her issues and emotions and gave her hope in walking forward.
Marwa feels grateful and fortunate to have found rapport with Ms. Arya, and she rates herself 3.5 out of 5. We are as hopeful as she is about resolving her conflicts and finding tranquillity.
Marwa’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Never blame yourself for society’s expectations; be kind to yourself.”
2.“You must welcome and uplift yourself before anyone else; remember that and keep walking forward.”
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