“You deserve a love that brings you joy, not one that brings you tears.” – unknown.
Sameer Sinha, a 32-year-old MBA graduate from a small town near Ranchi, is determined to show the world the competence to move forward even after going through the violent storms of life.
Sameer worked in Dubai for three years after his postgraduate studies and returned due to the COVID-19 pandemic. He joined Randstad India Private Limited Company (RIPL) and has worked there ever since as a Recruitment coordinator.
Born into a nuclear family of five that includes his parents, elder sister, and brother, Sameer says his parents raised him with a sense of security. Although he had academic challenges during tenth grade due to bad company and peer pressure, Sameer adds that his mother understood his environment and sent him outside their hometown in eleventh grade. Since then, career has been the primary focus in Sameer’s life.
“Once everything in my life fell into place, I decided to get married. Marriage was the biggest turning point in my life.”
Sameer elaborates that he went through the most challenging times after his marriage as his wife had hidden important facts about her mental health conditions and trauma from Sameer. This started affecting their married life, creating an escalation at work as his productivity scale decreased.
Sameer noticed some emails in his inbox regarding YourDOST’s tie-up with his company during this time. The quotes in the information emails started motivating him.
He also recollects that the HR department explained the platform during the employee quarterly meeting and reassured him about its benefits. Finally, Sameer decided to contact the experts and seek help.
“Initially, I explored the chat option on the platform and then eventually transitioned to video sessions. I opened up about all my marital problems, and my counselor was extremely patient and listened to me completely.”
Sameer explains that after a few weeks of his marriage, he started noticing misfitting behaviours from his wife. He started feeling confused and then found out after two months that she was on medication and she was keeping it a secret from him.
“My wife started spending most of her time alone in the room and was disrespectful to my family. She would fight with me constantly, refused to be intimate and showed signs of paranoia as she believed we were conspiring against her.”
Sameer adds that when he asked her parents about the causes of her behaviour, they weren’t helpful and blamed him for it. All of these started depressing Sameer as they never had any emotional connection, and the relationship started being one side. He adds that his wife also began physically and verbally abusing him. Sameer recollects breaking into tears one night as he couldn’t handle the emotional turmoil.
Having all the questions in his head, Sameer finally confronted his wife assertively about the medication and her behaviour. She then disclosed that she has been on medication for OCD and depression for the past five years after she had a bad break-up during college.
“My wife’s mom had told her not to disclose these with me, but I respected her for sharing and consoled her despite that. I was willing to put her past behind, help her improve.”
Even though they decided to work on their marriage together, it wasn’t easy, and Sameer always had to be cautious to keep things orderly.
He adds that he tried to talk to the doctor his wife had been consulting before marriage, but the doctor didn’t want to answer his questions, and Sameer felt that he was being negligent.
“I asked him if she needed therapy or physical exercise and if I had to contribute anywhere, but all he said was to continue the medication that she already took for the past five years and made no progress.”
Sameer elaborates that as his wife’s condition worsened, she started making suicide threats to him and being affected by these, he began getting warnings in the office.
“It was the worst time of my life. I tried a lot and convinced her to go Ranchi’s top hospital with the best psychiatric care.”
As they decided to seek treatment and went to the hospital, Sameer adds that her mom came to the hospital and obstructed his wife from getting treatment as she didn’t believe she had any issues. Things escalated quickly to the extent that even police had to get involved in resolving a family issue, says Sameer.
After all the quarrels and struggles, Sameer’s wife left him and moved back in with her parents. Sameer thought that things would be better and more peaceful from then on as his wife was causing him issues in his life.
To Sameer’s surprise, he started feeling even more demotivated and distracted from work. The whole experience created a trauma in his head. He tried to get over it for one month, but when nothing worked, he finally spoke to the counselor at YourDOST.
“Seeking therapy was the best decision because I could clear my head and convey to my counselor everything I kept held up in my mind.”
Sameer adds that his sessions were extraordinarily constructive and productive, as the counselor devised various techniques to help him. He says that he even sought legal guidance from her, and she suggested approaching the concerned experts, as he had the right to.
To help with his depression and productivity, the counsellor made Sameer employ some breathing techniques and the Pomodoro techniques to help with his distractions.
“The end of an unhappy relationship marks the beginning of a new chapter of self-discovery.” – unknown.
Sameer elucidates that these techniques helped him tremendously and that he started to follow through with everything regularly.
“Eventually, with therapy, I realised ups and downs in life are temporary and part of life. If there is day, there is night, and the light will come again.”
As Sameer moved on and was able to prioritise himself and his career again, he would like to thank his counsellor for helping him overcome the most significant block he had ever faced.
Taking responsibility for improving himself as a priority in his daily life, Sameer rates himself 4 out of 5 for his recovery. We’re glad Sameer got the assistance he needed at the right time and wish him the best.
Sameer’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Youngsters today should be proactive in resolving their mental health issues by seeking professionals, the same way they treat a severe fever or cold.”
2.“When you see a consistent negative pattern in yourself, don’t be afraid to work on it; take responsibility for yourself.”
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