“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde.
Anubhav, a 28-year-old artist, is on his journey of finding love! He lives in Bangalore and graduated from the National Institute of Fashion Technology (NIFT) with a Master’s in design. He is a natural sketcher and can visualise and quickly develop any art.
He was the first child in his family, born and raised in Delhi, and till the age of 7, he received exceptional love from every family member, from parents to uncles and aunts.
“Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.” – David Ogden Stiers.
As he grew, his family experienced financial issues, which affected Anubhav. He started feeling left behind and forgotten. He spent much of his childhood trying to comprehend his parents’ expectations of him.
“Being in a middle-class family, with three children and a financial constraint, my father struggled to have a work-life balance!”
Anubhav has two younger sisters, and he also explains that around this time, he realised the responsibility of taking care of them fell on him as he felt they couldn’t rely on his parents anymore. Eventually, Anubhav started believing that apart from essential support, he had to look out for himself instead of leaning on his parents.
He took jobs between his studies and tried to care for himself as much as possible until his undergraduate studies. Anubhav explains that he realised that his parents’ involvement would be limited, so he had to work hard to improve his life with the help of his extended family—his friends and teachers. Once he finally started college, as Anubhav specialised in the arts, things looked up for him until he came to Bangalore for his post-graduation.
“Self-care is not self-indulgence; it is self-preservation.” – Audre Lorde.
Even with every step he took to take care of himself, one thing Anubhav should have focused on was loving himself through the test of time.
Everyone must protect themselves when life presents itself. Self-care and self-love are crucial to being secure and content.
Anubhav became acquainted with his new classmates and met his partner there, too. After a while, however, his relationship with his partner and friends started to take a turn, coupled with family situations. Anubhav felt he couldn’t move forward.
Being in a new city with new people, he found it unhealthy to be with his circle at that time. Even though he had two or three friends he could confide in, he wanted to understand his mindset and thoughts better. He needed to figure out whom to approach. He then recalled that his college has a subscription to the YourDOST platform. He took it upon himself to explore them and seek help.
“I thought people just talk Therapy, nothing more! I wanted to know what happens in those sessions. It was like an experience through experiment for me.”
He booked with the available counselor, Ms Sagarika Palo, and sat down for a session with her. After his first session, Anubhav explained that he realised that counseling sessions offered more than just a conversation. They allowed him to be himself and express everything from his heart that had been piling up in his mind since he was a child!
“I had an epiphany and made a lot of people go to talk to a therapist instead of seeking advice from unhealthy acquaintances.”
Anubhav found therapists are more trustworthy, and his exploration towards self-love began there! He started resolving his issues with his relationship and family one after the other with the help of Therapy.
“Only after disaster can we be resurrected.” – Chuck Palahniuk.
After his family’s financial crisis, he witnessed many clashes between his parents as a kid, and he felt it started impacting his upbringing. He started finding comfort outside his family and tried to avail himself of the lost love through his non-family circles.
He believed that friends must show up for each other in dire situations. When things got complicated with his partner and friend during his masters, he felt his life had become the cliches mentioned in quotes. He started to blame himself for everything that happened around him.
“When I was barely getting over the relationship with my ex-partner, my best friend and she started dating. I had to distance myself from my comfort group because of it.”
He also adds with a heavy heart that on the other side of Anubhav’s life, his mother was being punished for an offence she was not directly involved in.
He had to endure the family problems alone. He explained that it created a lot of anxiety and that he went into a panic. It started to affect his academic work, and Therapy was the only thing he had to heed.
“I know life brings unexpected things, but when it did, it was hard. If not for Therapy, I wouldn’t have known right from wrong.”
His therapist, Ms Sagarika, helped Anubhav journal daily with regular sessions. She made him document every feeling as he struggled to express his emotions when overwhelmed. He also learned to compartmentalise his feelings, which was exceptionally helpful.
“Through these sessions, I realised I should be a priority and mindful of my thought process and actions.”
Ultimately, he started to get his routine in sync and saw a leap of faith and hope. Anubhav could finally feel the unconditional love he was on a hunt for, but this time, he knew he was the giver and receiver of it! As a reflection of that self-love and compassion, he deems grateful to his counsellors for pushing him to put himself first.
“I have met multiple women personalities who steered me to exemplary things. First and foremost among them are my counselors. They made me see I’m a good person with bad situations.”
He specifically suggests that he could protect his mental health solely because he made the effort to sit with them.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”– Carl Jung.
As the captivating journey towards self-love continues, Anuvbhav rates himself 4 out of 5 to convey his improvement, which he considers a massive step towards understanding oneself.
While he is darting ahead to meet his mother in the upcoming weeks and determine his issues with the self-discovery he acquired through counseling, we are glad to be part of his journey and excited to see his graph shifting upwards gradually! He strives to be a better person with every measure, which becomes the definition of self-love!
Anubhav’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Acknowledge your feelings, thoughts, and actions. Being mindful might take time, but incorporate it to better yourself.”
2.“Nobody is good or bad; everyone is in different phases of life. Prioritise yourself and move on.”
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