Expectations are a concept that can hurt us if not taken care of. There are times in life when we give out a lot but do not receive anything in return and even if we try to hide the fact that we are hurt, it is bound to come out one way or another. Channelling the expectations into self-love can help you reach unattainable goals in life!
Meet Varun (name changed), a 30-year-old lead consultant at Virtusa, a software service-based MNC in the IT domain. He was born and raised in the small town of Tirunelveli, in Tamil Nadu and currently lives in Chennai for work.
Varun had a fun and stable childhood and shared a good relationship with his parents. He had a good family environment at home but had a different notion of the town. Being a third-tier city, the small town was a conservative one with no big developments whatsoever.
“I am a big-time foodie and love trying out the local restaurants and cuisines. Being a racing and motorsport enthusiast, I am a fan of F1 and F2 races and go for go-karting frequently. Other than that, I’m a usual Netflix and chill kind of person.”
Varun learnt about YourDOST from his company which has tied up with the organisation as their official mental health partner.
“I found my therapist, Ms Arya Koushik on the platform at a very low point in my life. I was supposed to talk to a psychologist but somehow it didn’t happen. I realised I could not go any further in life without therapy. One night I just decided that this was it. I found the emails from YourDOST and started sessions with Arya right away.”
Arya was the first person Varun talked to on the platform and he recalls feeling extremely calm instantly. He was dealing with too many rejections that resulted in fatigue and hopelessness, hence Arya suggested further counselling. The issues had to be tackled right away, and she needed space to understand Varun’s concerns better.
“I was feeling really low at a point in time and felt that I would die alone in my life. This was due to multiple rejections I faced in my relationship from a person who did not reciprocate the same feelings as me. Our future dreams were different and nobody was ready to compromise either.”
Varun’s partner at the time asked him to go for therapy and seek help. He went through a turmoil of emotions and felt low and lazy the whole day. He used to push his friends to therapy and he got the same support from his friends.
Arya asked him to write down his spiralling thoughts and they talked about them in the sessions. She suggested some stress-relieving physical exercises that helped Varun improve his physical health as well.
“She analysed my mental strength by giving me worksheets that pushed me out of my hopeless situation. She also asked me to take breaks in between and thus I even planned a vacation for myself.”
Varun felt better than before but is still on the journey of healing. His biggest improvement was that he stopped crying at night from the first session with Ms Arya. He has learnt how to channel his emotions and control them at the same time. He worked through the activities extensively and succeeded in experiencing change.
“I’m not in the best position right now from where I started but I realize that it’s a step-by-step process. From feeling entirely hopeless to being a bit more hopeful my therapist gave me ample confidence. She is an active listener and provides logical solutions that I could wholeheartedly relate with.”
Varun used to push his friends to seek help whenever they needed help and when it was time to go for therapy for himself, he was hesitant. He was constantly booking and cancelling sessions and it had become a recurring process.
“When I met Arya, everything felt right. I felt safe and trusted her enough to voice my concerns without hesitation. I’m grateful for her systematic approaches and for gaining my confidence.”
Varun rated himself a solid 4 out of 5 on feeling better after therapy and envisions improvement to be a journey from struggle to working on himself, efficiently, effectively and passionately.
We at YourDOST are honoured to share Varun’s journey of healing and wish him all the best in all future endeavours!
Varun’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Trust the process, stick with it and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel one day.”
2.“Seeking therapy does not make you weak, but prepares you for the future and makes you strong.”
3.“Letting out emotions whenever you feel is a healthy expression of feelings.”
