Sam is a 24-year-old graduate who pursued her bachelor’s degree at Bennett University.
She recollects being an introvert and a shy kid while growing up. Sam says that even though she was comfortable with one-on-one conversations with people, being in a group setting always caused her social anxiety.
“I used to think about how people would perceive me and fear judgment. I used to be scared to ask my doubts in class because I thought people would think my questions were stupid.”
Sam says that due to these self-doubts, she used to keep quiet even though she didn’t understand the curriculum. As she grew, her self-doubts too grew with her, and it became a barrier to her growth. She started delaying taking up the opportunities that came her way, thinking she wouldn’t make it.
It was after she started college that Sam observed errors in her thought patterns and behaviour. She felt that thoughts of failure dominated her mind, costing her opportunities and relationships. When she began questioning herself about the reasons behind these thoughts, the people around her suggested she talk to someone with experience.
“It was with that chain of thought that it struck me. I knew I had the potential in my mind, but I had to figure out what was pulling me down.”
When Sam wanted to seem helpful, she became aware of her college’s tie-up with the YourDOST platform through the discussions with her seniors. She heard them say that the platform had been proven helpful in personal and academic development. She then enrolled on the website using her student login ID and explored the available experts.
Sam explains that since she has always been reserved, exposing herself to someone was intimidating and scary. When the questions about her difficult childhood came up in her first session, she found it challenging to answer.
“Even though my counselors were good, due to the constraints in my mind, I skipped the follow-up sessions, but luckily, I had a good friend who used to motivate me and told me I shouldn’t give up.”
With time, she understood that discussing the past was imperative, as the counselor could give her the right strategies. The counselor also gave her a safe space to feel relaxed and comfortable. Sam began trusting the process once she saw their kindness and empathetic listening.
The counselor used cognitive behavioural therapy to question and reframe her thoughts better. They suggested this would help her work on her self-doubts and reduce their impact. This helped her work on the lighter thoughts that arise in day-to-day life. However, given the traumatic childhood experiences Sam had, she expressed to the counselor her desire for a stronger strategy.
Considering her input, the counselor changed their approach to something that would help her deal with her emotions. Sam explains that more than the tasks, hearing a third person say kind words to her and encouraging her made her feel good. She felt that the counselor validated her emotions, which motivated her to keep going.
“After hiding myself for years and opening up for the first time, feeling heard was revolutionary. It was new, interesting and made me feel content. I felt like I mattered, and my perception developed once I saw this side of the coin.”
Sam elaborates that eventually, with multiple sessions, she finally worked on her behaviour patterns. She started understanding that, more than working on stopping the self-critical thoughts, she learned how to tackle those thoughts. She acknowledges that she still has to work on her coping mechanisms to deal with them, but she has stopped letting those negative thoughts take over her.
As she works on finding her balance, Sam shares that she feels more confident and has begun believing in herself. She says that having conversations with her circle has become easier, and she has started developing good relationships with people.
“I have finally explored the other side of socialising, and I have to thank my counselor for listening to me and teaching me the strategies to get there.”
As she is making small progress every day and has stopped comparing herself to others, Sam rates herself 3 out of 5. We are delighted to see her progress and wish her all the best for her future.
Sam’s Warrior Tips:
1.“There are many good people out there who will listen to you, so never hesitate to reach out.”
2.“I know opening up to someone is scary, but once you do, things will get better and you will emerge stronger.”
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