Aishu (name changed) is a self-made corporate employee at Hiver. She works in the product team. She started as a developer and, through her determination and dedicated work, reached where she is today.
She was in a family of four in the northern part of India. She lived there until she finished college and moved to South India after marriage. Aishu had a close bond with her friends, who knew things about her that even her family didn’t. She explains that even ten years after college, they used to stay in touch and meet occasionally.
However, after Aishu married and relocated, she couldn’t meet any of them, and some of her friends even moved abroad. Aishu elucidates being blessed with a wonderful husband and in-laws, and feels content with her family.
“I’m an extrovert by nature and love meeting new people, but in the past few years, I started liking the silent, home alone times too. Even though I enjoy the moments I spend with my husband and plan the fun meet-ups with my parents, there are days when I miss my friends.”
Aishu elaborates that although she has made peace with her lifestyle, moving to a city with a different culture was initially highly challenging. She had always wanted a life outside her family, but making friends in a new location and workplace wasn’t easy for Aishu.
This situation led Aishu to overthink more and gave her obsessive thoughts that kept her awake at night every day. Whenever some of her friends who lived closer met each other without her knowledge, it made her feel left out and lonely.
As her thoughts went in circles, Aishu got more upset and spiralled. She began getting upset over the little things at home and redirecting her loneliness into anger toward her partner. This started affecting the couple’s peace of mind. Aishu wanted to understand her feelings better.
She remembered her new company’s subscription to the YourDOST platform as part of their employee assistance program. She made up her mind to tackle the situation and started exploring the platform.
“It was my perception that things would get better if I talked everything out to someone who wouldn’t judge or mislead my negative thoughts. Sessions at YourDOST were nothing short of my expectations.”
Aishu began connecting with Ms Anjali Jain and found her calm, refreshing, and understanding. She felt the sessions with the counselor were positive, and she felt comfortable sharing her issues with her. She began talking about her emotions and thoughts to the counselor.
She explains that her family has always been supportive and given her abundant love, but despite that, even the smallest thing that wouldn’t even matter normally triggered her. Aishu recollects reacting badly to them.
“It was really strange how my mind processed things then. I even used to think, why would he hurt me like this and plot revenge in my mind.”
Aishu elaborates that once she noticed her patterns, she wanted to do something about them, but she didn’t want to talk to her mom about it. She felt these things would sound childish if people heard them, and she also didn’t want anybody in her circle to have this notion registered in their mind. Aishu told the counselor that this was what drove her towards looking for a safe space where she didn’t have to worry about judgments.
Ms Anjali, heard Aishu completely and validated her emotions. She reassured to her about the judgement free space and confidentiality. Aishu explains that the counselor asked her retrospective questions which would make her explore each situations she had with her partner and understand the reason behind her reactions.
Aishu elaborates that the counselor also gave her small tasks and activities to do after every session. She explains that understanding her rigidity in certain things, Ms Anjali was never pushy but gently guided her towards being open to change.
The counselor suggested she write down a ‘grateful bulletin list’ every time she was upset to remind herself of the positive things, pause the spiral of thoughts and give her prompt questions to work with. She was also made to write three positive things about her partner daily, even if it’s the smallest, to help see the compatibility and the bigger picture. Whenever Aishu got upset, Ms Anjali asked her to go back to the list and read them again.
“These activities helped me stay in contact with the memories of my husband and me laughing together or the moments of him helping me with chores, and when I’m upset, rather than dwelling on the small, unintended triggers.”
Aishu elaborates that it also helped her calm down and rethink any situation without being pushed by overwhelming emotions. Instead of thinking about the quarrel that had happened previously, she started understanding her partner’s efforts to smooth things out in the present. With each situation, she began thinking, ‘Will these matter tomorrow?’
She explains that she started choosing her battles wisely instead of being short-sighted and became someone who communicated rationally to her partner instead of turning everything into an argument.
“It’s because of Ms Anjali that I’m more stable and at ease these days. Her sweet and empathetic approach and active listening made change possible. Her simple but effective activities have stayed with me as a mechanism even after a year has passed.”
As she thanks her therapist for giving her a new perspective and a nudge towards positivity, she rates herself 3.5 out of 5 in terms of feeling better. She expresses her gratitude to Ms Anjali and her profound love for her husband, which enhanced post the sessions.
We are happy for her progress and her efforts to pick herself up every day to move forward and not fall into old patterns. We wish the couple a splendid future ahead!
Aishu’s Warrior tips:
1.“Break the stigmas about therapy in your mind; you will see that people have become more accepting of mental health.”
2.“Talk to someone, or at least write them down instead of keeping everything piled in your mind.”
3.“Consistency is the key to therapy as well, in order to be successful.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
