Meet Shah, a 24-year-old who graduated with a Master’s of Business Administration from XLRI Delhi. She’s known in her circle as Ruhika, and she prefers it as well.
She is the eldest daughter in a joint family with two younger brothers. Ruhika explains that she was the first generation in her family to graduate with a master’s degree and then develop a career based on her qualifications.
Ruhika recalls that when she was a kid, she would sometimes stay with her grandparents and maternal uncles, as all her family members from both sides of her parents were kind and lovely to her. Due to this, Ruhika says she used to travel a lot until her 10th grade, and these different exposures became the foundation of her personality.
She explains that although she grew up to be an extroverted, confident, and outspoken person, she still felt empty and lost internally. With the same feeling, Ruhika began her postgraduate studies at XLRI, Delhi. When the pandemic broke out, she experienced a series of unfortunate events. She tested positive for COVID-19 and had to isolate herself.
“In a building of ten floors, eighty rooms, and hundreds of students, I was the only one to live alone, with no human connection. It was really hard, and the feeling of emptiness grew stronger. I needed someone to understand how I felt.”
Ruhika recalled her onboarding session at the college, during which a team from YourDOST spoke to the students about the importance of mental health and the availability of their platform for students through the management subscription. Even Ruhika’s partner at that time, suggested she try therapy as well.
“I read a lot in general, so I always need something concrete, and I have a lot of questions. Some of the counselors on the platform were amazing and helped me understand many things. I liked their active listening and solution-oriented approaches.”
As she started connecting with the therapist, she explains that it helped her open up various portals to her thoughts and repressed emotions. She shared with the counselor how she felt that she had achieved and done a lot in life, but still, she was constantly worried and upset. It was really overwhelming for her.
She continued the sessions even after she recovered from COVID-19, as they helped her take a journey through everything she went through and work on her emptiness. Ruhika recollects a moment when she used to go completely blank and find many triggers in her surroundings. Despite trying meditation and mindfulness, she couldn’t understand what was happening to her.
“I’m an ambitious person. When I started my MBA and began thinking about my next step after completing it, I was falling apart a lot. My ex-partner was the only person I could count on, but I sabotaged that too due to all the pressure and emotional baggage I had.”
She elaborates that she had always needed someone to guide her and understand her so that she could function in her day-to-day life. However, when her five-year relationship ended, Ruhika didn’t know how she could handle everything. She knew she could improve, but she felt she had unconsciously developed behaviour patterns that would obstruct her.
“Those were the low moments of my life. I repeatedly had the question of why I was living that way, and really wanted to get better and gain clarity. Therapy was the way to do it.”
Ruhika shares that she has always been goal-oriented, worked on her studies by focusing on academics, and been attentive to fitness by going to the gym every day. When she knew her patterns, she wanted to work on her mental health as well. However, when she opened up about her break-up and counseling to her friends, they laughed about it and made it sound like therapy is for people who are too weak to handle difficult situations. This hurt her even more.
“From my friends to my ex-partner, they always had reservations about therapy. It was irrational stigmas, and I didn’t want to be pulled down by those thoughts. I took everything I was taught in therapy and started working on myself as I was sure I could trust the experts 100%.”
She explains that the sessions helped her become self-aware. She realised she had been self-critical whenever there was a challenging situation, and the counselor helped her be gentle and find a softer approach while connecting with her inner self.
They also helped her understand the psychological connections for some of her bodily reactions, such as dehydration, sweaty palms, and heaviness in her chest. Eventually, these insights helped her understand her emotions well. She also began journaling actively, and the counselor directed her methods of meditation towards bringing her anxieties down and helping with her sleeping patterns.
“I discovered through the sessions that I had abandonment issues due to my insecure childhood. This also led to an anxious attachment style. Knowing this helped me process my past troubles and my break-up.”
She explains that she was fixing everything from the surface instead of diving deep into her childhood patterns and insecurity. She feels that by the time she resolved them, it was too late, and she lost her relationship because of those patterns.
She says that she had learn it the hard way and adds that she made peace with her younger self and felt content that she at least became aware of her inner self.
“I got the right therapist, but after some considerable losses. However, it’s better late than never.”
It took her seven months to completely overcome her relationship issues and get back to her routine. She could finally sleep well and be herself. Even though she continues the sessions and takes help, she has started making small changes in her routine, which are beginning to impact her lifestyle in the long run.
“From dealing with my childhood trauma to processing my relationship issues, therapy has helped me. I should thank my counselor for being a friend, and I’m blessed to have them as part of my life. It was like God themselves were guiding me.”
As she continues to understand herself better, Ruhika rates herself 4 out of 5 in terms of improvement. We are delighted to see how far she has come and wish her all the best for her future.
Ruhika’s Warrior Tips:
1.“You need to love yourself more than you care for others to achieve anything in life.”
2.“Being at peace with yourself can help you function daily without mental discrepancies.”
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