Trigger Warning: mention of Suicidal Thoughts and Sexual Harassment
Imroze Hossain is a 28-year-old corporate employee in a private firm. He used to work as a senior software engineer at Homelane.
He is originally from Kolkata; his family includes his parents and brother. Imroze explains that since childhood, the family has encountered extreme difficulties due to their extended family. He comes from a wealthy industrialist family, where the family lived comfortably. However, their relatives drove them out of the family business during the property settlements and issues.
“I had a very anxious childhood; we were humiliated and harassed by our relatives, and we were put to extreme poverty. Even though my parents tried to hide them from me and shielded me, I could always see their pain.”
Imroze explains that his father was constantly worried about what they would eat for the next day, and whenever he went out for jobs and didn’t come back the same night, his mother used to worry a lot despite the effect it had on her health conditions.
Despite his worries and anxieties, Imroze says everything seemed better as long as they had each other. His parents made the burden seem less complicated, and they raised both him and his brother with love and care.
“I’m someone who has a lot of hobbies. I can paint and cook, and I have a passion for music. Even though we were in dire situations, I learned to play seven musical instruments and grew up to be a confident, super extroverted person.”
Imroze adds that his brother, along with his parents, has also been highly supportive of him and says that his brother means the world to him. Though all of these struggles started due to someone’s greed, Imroze explains that he and his brother managed to perform well academically and successfully got the opportunities they were looking for.
While Imroze started working in the corporate world and also developed a part-time career out of music, his brother moved abroad and started working there. When things moved smoothly for the family, Imroze met a devastating situation during the pandemic.
He was staying alone in Bangalore, away from home for his job, and when the lockdown started, his neighbour, who lived in the same building as him, began visiting him as they couldn’t go anywhere else to socialise. Imroze explains that when he thought they were becoming friends, the neighbour tried to misbehave and sexually abuse him.
“He took advantage of me and my vulnerability. I felt helpless and started experiencing anxiety attacks. For three to four months after the incident, I never disclosed it to anyone, and it was unbearable for me.”
Imroze elaborates that he eventually decided to seek professional help to overcome the trauma. As he knew about his company’s tie-up with YourDOST as part of their employee benefits, Imroze logged into the platform and began connecting with the experts available.
He started taking his sessions with Ms Mamata Harish, and Imroze says that in the initial sessions, he was afraid of expressing everything. He recollects feeling embarrassed about what happened and thought people might judge him if he spoke about his situation.
“Society has given us stereotypes that men should not cry and break by issues like sexual assault. Lingering on these thoughts, I hesitated a lot, but Ms Mamata made me feel comfortable and assured me that it was a safe place.”
Imroze explains that understanding that the sessions were non-judgemental zones, he opened up to the therapist. As he spoke about the trauma the incident created, he saw himself slowly pull out of the unfortunate experience and recover from it.
When the phase was almost over, Imroze was put under heavy medication when he fell sick. He says that the doctor assured him that the dosages were safe, but he started getting anxiety attacks out of nowhere.
Unaware of the side effects, Imroze blamed himself for his feelings and started looking for answers. When he shared this information with his friends, he educated Imroze that one of the side effects was ‘brain fog’, and it would make him feel like he was living in a dream.
“The medication ruined all the recovery I made, and things got terrible. I developed a fear of exercising, eating or even stepping out of the home. It started consuming me, and it was too scary because even my vision started deteriorating.”
Imroze explains that he later realised that he was going through the symptoms of depression due to those neurotic effects. He recalls losing his appetite, sleep, and concentration when writing or reading anything.
He elaborates that people usually think anxiety is just a feeling and is harmless, but it wasn’t the case with Imroze. He felt like life was over and could never escape this. He explains that he even contemplated taking his life, going through a chain of panic attacks.
Slowly, Imroze contacted Ms Mamata again; she suggested he visit the NIMHANS experts before proceeding with the sessions. Imroze took her advice and got himself checked. The doctors diagnosed him with severe panic and anxiety disorders along with clinical depression.
When Imroze feared medications again, the doctor explained everything about them and assured him they were minimal doses. They also made him aware of the mild side effects so Imroze didn’t have to fear the unknown.
“I felt like I was stuck in a loop. First, it was the fears and then the fear of having those fears again. Everything seemed complicated, and this was why Ms Mamata introduced me to exposure therapy.”
Imroze explains that to let his thoughts and feelings pass, this therapy was an idea to let him be bored of the triggers. When the triggers have no effect, even the fears lose their effect. He adds that the therapist made sure to eliminate every irrational fear Imroze had by exposing him to them little by little.
To control his impulse to pull away, Ms Mamata also suggested Imroze just be an observer when he can’t control or let go of something. Eventually, he was also made to rest his mind in order to stop the chain of negative thoughts leading to obsessive thinking. She suggested he practice mindfulness, and she taught him the art of self-control to not engage with his triggers.
“Once I achieved this, it was a piece of cake, but the road leading up to that point was challenging. Eventually, I learned to control my fears and took a 12-hour flight last month. Even when I had a lingering anxiety, I knew that it would pass and told myself it had no control over me.”
As Imroze has healed through all his past traumas and recovered from his anxiety issues, he thanks his counselor for always being with him through the darkness, showing him the light, and also helping him see that light and dark can co-exist peacefully in life.
“I never knew therapy could turn into a big leap of faith for me. Ms Mamata is my guardian, and turning to her with my issues gave me a mother-son bond with her. She helped me grow into a person who can solve any of the upcoming problems in life and understand that’s the fun of life.”
As he breaks the shackles of his mental barriers, Imroze rates himself 3.5 out of 5, and we feel immense pleasure seeing Imroze out of his trauma and grow in his personal and professional life.
Imroze Hossain’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Time is a huge factor in healing and mental well-being; just be patient.”
2.“Talk more about mental well-being and educate people that therapy can be an alternative to medication in some cases.”
3.“Don’t compare your issues with someone else; each has a unique way of finding solutions.”
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