Trigger warning: Mentions of Self-harm and suicide
Paul is a 24-year-old Global Operations Associate from Upgrad. In his leisure time, Paul enjoys playing guitar and video games. He also likes to watch documentaries and other informational videos to expand his knowledge.
Paul was born in Kolkata. He explains that being part of a nuclear family with his parents and grandmom, he is closest to his mom and opens up to her about everything, while he shares a distant, respectful relationship with his dad.
He adds that his parents took a disciplinary parenting approach when he was a kid. He recollects growing up in different parts of the world since childhood.
“Traveling around from one place to another never really gave me a sense of home or belongingness anywhere. I moved to the USA for a few years and then back to India. I also went to boarding school for a few years of my schooling. My relationship with people was fleeting at best.”
Paul elaborates that all these impacted his upbringing and shaped his personality. Going through various struggles in his childhood, Paul says that he couldn’t handle the negative thoughts in his mind and tried to attempt suicide by jumping off his balcony when he was 12 years old.
Even after recovering from the injuries, the incident and the events surrounding them have created a trauma within him. As he grew, he was constantly looking for a support system for him to get through his past and his day-to-day struggles.
Combining his past trauma, personal issues and career struggles, Paul was anxious and stressed. He developed social awkwardness and milder substance abuse. He was also coming out of an unhealthy relationship.
Paul started noticing his company’s office posters and emails regarding employee well-being. As an advocate of mental health, his company, Upgrad, had subscribed to YourDOST to help their employees with the resources required for sound mental wellness. Paul paid more attention to them and understood that they could benefit his situation.
“The emails about YourDOST always caught my eye because growing up, I always felt like I could progress significantly if I had the proper guidance.”
Paul decided to seek therapy and started sessions with Mr Naveen Nair. He explains that the therapist was a terrific listener and made a great first impression.
“My first interaction with Mr Naveen wasn’t like an interview with random questions or tick boxes. He figured it out and let me speak at my own pace.”
He elaborates that initially, the conversations involved understanding his issues and thought patterns. Paul says that the counselor subtly hinted at him when there was a contradiction in his thoughts. He adds that all the stigmas, beliefs, coping mechanisms and values he had cultivated throughout his life slowly came up, and they discussed them in detail in therapy.
Paul shared with Mr Naveen about the self-harming behaviour he had during his teenage years and the underlying issues regarding them. He explains that he was down and hopeless at multiple points in his life, and he tried to contact various helplines and support groups. Still, none of them was as effective as approaching therapy.
“At the beginning, I was uncomfortable about the stigma that therapy was only for mental disorders. Some friends even tried to tell me it’s all in my head, but I knew these weren’t true.”
Through sessions, Paul understood that therapy could help him feel liberated and progress in life choices. He elucidates that his most enormous assistance from therapy was self-reflection and self-realisation. He started paying attention to his thoughts and words, which helped Paul change many perspectives on life.
The therapist made Paul do some activities, such as naming his emotions and feelings, creating boundaries, and analysing his character traits and values. These allowed Paul to express his profound thoughts and find clarity in everything.
“After taking these therapy sessions, I can very confidently say that for the first time, I have taken the right steps, stood up for myself, and made the decisions to get myself out of any toxicity around me.”
He explains that his social anxiety and overthinking have significantly reduced. He elaborates that he wasn’t analysing every event in his life and sabotaging himself.
Paul credits his counselor for seeing his potential and having faith in him when he didn’t believe in himself. He explains that the sessions impacted his life positively and led him in the right direction.
“Sessions with Mr Naveen gave me the strength to improve and come out of difficult situations. This journey of helping myself would be my note of gratitude to him.”
As Paul is in a better place and rates himself 3 out of 5 in terms of feeling better, we wish him all the best for his future.
Paul’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Don’t seek comfort and peace outside; work internally to find them.”
2.“Working on yourself can be challenging, but be committed, and you can figure things out.”
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