Bangalore is a garden city and an IT hub where every corner has a story to tell. This is where Abhishek’s story started and continues. He is a 29-year-old Tech team employee at Sony in Bangalore.
He was born in Bangalore and lived in the same city from nursery school to college, from finding a career to settling after marriage. He grew up with his parents, grandmother, and brother. Even after Abhishek got married, they continued to live together in the same house as a beautiful family of six.
Abhishek recollects being a cricket fan and dreaming of being a cricketer when he was a little kid. He adds that he is a movie buff who watches many movies and is passionate about dancing. Even though he made a different career choice as he grew up, Abhishek elucidates that he never missed an opportunity to give time to these three hobbies.
Abhishek shares that while he had a comfortable life growing up, he faced some difficulties during the initial stage of his marriage. He explains that he and his partner were unfamiliar with each other’s behaviour patterns, and adjusting and getting comfortable was hard for them.
“It was a new experience, and no one told us how it would be after marriage. There was nobody to guide, and it was terrible. I even started regretting the decision to get married.”
He explains that he and his partner started fighting almost every week, and he wasn’t comfortable sharing it with his family as well. The issues began putting them under much stress and became an ego clash.
He elaborates that the fight became huge one day, and both broke out in distress. Thinking about a solution, Abhishek sought help from his company’s wellness program, which is offered through the YourDOST platform. He started consulting the therapist and took their suggestions and guidance.
Abhishek elaborates that he expressed all his troubles with his marriage and felt good after sharing everything. He remembers sharing with the counsellor how easily he used to get angry when something didn’t go right at home and how it also impacted his new relationship with his partner.
The counselor made him realise that it is normal for a partner to take time to get adjusted to a new environment. She also suggested Abhishek to work on his anger issues as it could hamper the progress of his relationship.
“During the session, I understood that controlling our emotions plays a significant role in any situation, and I learned to think before speaking. I also understood I failed to provide my wife with the space she might need to sort things out.”
Abhishek explains that he started providing his partner with the support and space he could, which also helped them see the other person’s perspective. Abhishek adds that he was also worried about revealing things between a husband and wife to anyone outside the relationship.
He explains that sharing them with an expert was the best decision, as he never felt judged or uncomfortable. He also feels that his insights through therapy have been very illuminating and helpful for his life.
“I wasn’t sure who was at fault, and maybe even I could be wrong. I was open to correcting myself, and with therapy, I could work on myself successfully.”
The therapist also shared a few blogs with Abhishek to understand being in a committed relationship in depth, and she also taught him some mindfulness techniques to manage his anger issues.
Using these techniques, Abhishek explains that he can calm himself down in a stressful situation and discuss conflicts in a more welcoming way. This helped him efficiently resolve issues, giving the couple a sense of stability and peace of mind.
“All the suggestions from my counselor worked, and I deeply thank her for helping me keep my marriage without falling apart. My wife and I are better positioned to understand each other now.”
As Abhishek feels elated and happy, he rates himself 5 out of 5 for all the self-improvement he made to be a better person. We are humbled for being an instrument in his process and wish the couple a contentful life.
Abhishek’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Life is short, so you should prioritise caring for yourself more than external situations.”
2.“Things take time to resolve, stay calm and work on the best outcome.”
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