Ajay is a 30-year-old hardworking Assistant Manager and a loving father and husband who strives daily to improve himself for his son and wife. He finished his graduate studies and got placed in Bharat Petroleum Corporation Limited (BPCL) in Mumbai as his first job, and he has been working there ever since.
Ajay was born in Mumbai but moved around Maharastra a lot during childhood as his father was a police officer. He comes from a nuclear family of his parents and an elder brother. Ajay says he stayed with his parents until sixth grade and was a sincere, disciplined kid.
“I was put in a hostel after sixth grade; even though it helped me function independently, it was also emotionally challenging at that tender age. The school had restrictions about talking to the opposite gender, even if it was your sibling.”
Ajay elaborates that this experience during his teenage years was the root cause of the issues he faced later in life. When Ajay left hostel life in 11th grade, he became a shy, introverted teenager who feared talking to girls. He elucidates that he had always felt the curiosity and urge to speak with them but never had a proper channel to communicate with them, which continued for years.
Since he was a kid, Ajay has been curious about life and death, leading him to spirituality. He explains that connecting with organisations related to spirituality, reading the Bhagavad Gita, and taking a course on the ‘art of living’ helped him overcome his shyness and become an extrovert.
As Ajay started working and got married, everything was good for him and his family. After a few years, when Ajay’s manager was taking his review, he gave Ajay feedback that his productivity scale had been low and raised questions to understand his situation.
Ajay explains that since 12th grade, he has been using online sites to communicate with women whenever he feels stressed about his inability to communicate with women he meets in person. This habit continued throughout his life and became a pattern: He started going online whenever he was stressed or having a bad day.
“I started using this mechanism to relieve stress at work or home, and it began taking up more of my time and energy. I opened up about losing control over the situation to my manager, who suggested I seek help from the experts on YourDOST since we had the subscription through our company.”
Ajay says he took his manager’s guidance and started taking sessions from the YourDOST platform. He connected with different counselors as he started taking the sessions every time he felt the need to talk to women online. It helped him channel his time into working on himself, says Ajay. He adds that talking about the issue helped him reduce his patterns’ intensity by half.
Although Ajay wanted to discuss it with his wife first, he feared she might not understand what he was going through. Since both are introverts and not good with communication, he was clueless about how to proceed. He adds that all the therapists on the platform understood Ajay’s issues and gave him a safe space to express himself.
“The counselors heard me with the intent to listen and sensitively dealt with me. They came down to the level of the client and empathised with me. They also gave me a practical way to move forward. It felt perfect.”
Ajay elucidates that, knowing his hesitations to communicate, his counselor suggested writing a letter to his wife instead of having a conversation. He also went through the self-help questionnaires on the platform and said they helped him understand himself.
“My kid and my wife look up to me, so I want to be a better man for them. Knowing this, my counselors focused on my positive aspects and pushed me in the right direction.”
Ajay elaborates that with therapy, he started seeing changes in himself. He adds that he finally enjoyed his time with his family guilt-free and relaxed. He says that even his conversations with his wife improved after he disclosed issues, and they talked about it.
“The first step in solving an issue is acknowledging our problem. Once I could do that, this started to get better. I also started focusing on my physical health with guidance from my counselors, and I feel like a new person with a good conscience.”
Reaping the benefits of therapy, Ajay thanks his counselors for being understanding and supportive through his process.
As Ajay rates himself 4 out of 5 on performing well in his personal and professional life, we are proud of him for taking a step towards self-improvement.
Ajay’s Warrior Tips:
1.“It’s okay to be not okay, and admitting when we need help matters.”
2.“Knowledge about mental health is improving, and it should be taken to the next phase by equalising it to physical health.”
3.“When seeking help, you should be open-minded and listen to perspectives.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
