Tavisha, a 19-year-old student studying for a Bachelor of Knitwear Design at the National Institute of Fashion Technology, Bangalore, is determined to outlive the storms of her life.
Tavisha is originally from West Delhi, where she grew up in a diverse environment. Though she lived in a nuclear family, most of her relatives lived in close quarters, giving her a joint family vibe as a child.
After a 30-year gap, Tavisha was the family’s first child and was pampered and loved. However, she says that it also came with a lot of negative connotations, as her parents had her at a young age and struggled with parenting her.
“Growing up, I had a lot of issues with my parents. I couldn’t take their emotional and physical abuse from them and legally separated to go my way.”
Tavisha was closer to her grandmother and aunt in Delhi as they raised and cared for her as a child. She vividly remembers being on her grandmother’s lap all the time and cherishes the memories she created with both of them.
Tavisha used to participate in more creative competitions in school, as her passions always revolved around art and fashion. She is also an extrovert who loves to go out and mingle with people.
Tavisha calls herself a ‘water person’ as she enjoys activities such as swimming. As a teenager, Tavisha had a talent for various sports. Despite that, Tavisha couldn’t pursue them as a career choice or interest because her parents weren’t interested and didn’t allow her. Eventually, her sports-related habits dropped significantly, except for occasionally taking up swimming in her leisure time.
After she shifted to Bangalore for college, she became closer to her brother, whom she describes as her favourite person. Given the heavy curriculum of her college, Tavisha started developing stress and anxiety during her first semester. Being separated from her parents and going through a breakup in her personal life, Tavisha wanted to find a way to cope with everything.
Tavisha explains that she had taken counseling during school and didn’t find it helpful, which led to her scepticism about taking therapy in college.
“My first therapy was court-ordered for the whole family, and I felt judged there for not wanting to be with my parents. Then, the second therapist was my relative, which was again a bad experience.”
Knowing about her stress levels and doubts, Tavisha’s mentor suggested she make an appointment with the experts visiting her college for face-to-face sessions through her college’s partnership with YourDOST.
Even after that, Tavisha reached out to her friends to enquire about the effectiveness of counseling, and after receiving positive feedback, Tavisha took her first session with Ms Shreya Angara.
“Ms Shreya was very welcoming, open, and positive. I didn’t feel judged, and the way she gave me her feedback felt very positive, so I decided to continue sessions with her.”
Tavisha started sharing her stressors with the counselor one by one. They discussed her academic stress and her relationships in detail to work on them.
Since fashion is a very competitive field, Tavisha explains that to achieve good academic grades, she used to work around the clock and prepare for her projects and jury exams. She describes being exhausted after every assignment.
“After the first-semester jury, I went home and didn’t want to touch my art materials. I was having a total burnout. I understood this would be the case for the rest of my college life, so I needed a coping mechanism to deal with them.”
Tavisha adds that when she was already anxious and sleep deprived, her partner, whom she dated for ten years and has been her friend since childhood, broke up with her, saying he doesn’t have feelings for her anymore. She explains feeling blindsided and unable to cope.
“He was my closest friend and had been with me for over ten years. Suddenly, he became very harsh and said mean things. It was pretty bad. I would cry and not sleep for weeks.”
Both situations triggered a series of panic and anxiety attacks in Tavisha. She started working on these aspects with therapy as she wanted to get her original self back, says Tavisha.
Tavisha describes having an excellent experience and feeling comfortable in therapy. She felt her counselor was very attentive and guided her when she asked for it. Tavisha adds that the ideas she got for particular areas helped her a lot.
“I’m an anxious person, and I cried a lot when I spoke my problems out loud, but Ms Shreya made me feel it was normal.”
Tavisha adds she also faced a lot of stigmas from her family and relatives. They were against her sharing family issues with a stranger, and according to them, depression is for someone in dire situations only, says Tavisha. She explained that she started raising such comments during therapy and moving on with life.
Ms Shreya and therapy also help Tavisha with specific activities for each issue. They discovered that Tavisha has perfectionism, and she procrastinates because of that, which becomes one of the causes of her stress. Her counselor suggested she break down tasks and approach them five minutes at a time. She was also made to journal her triggers, and then they worked on them during the next session.
Tavisha was also asked to track her moods and emotions to see her patterns. Doing all of these activities and talking out her issues in therapy made her feel more vocal about her feelings and thoughts instead of just accepting other people’s decisions.
“After therapy, I regained my confidence and could stand up for myself. I was able to let go of things that were hurting me. I also learned to manage time better.”
Tavisha also adds that she started empathising with the people around her and accepting their journey. Gaining all the insights, Tavisha says with extreme gratitude that she also wrote back to her counselor for being patient and kind in times of distress.
“My counselor followed my flow rather than pulling me with interruptions. I appreciate her helping me, calming me and validating my emotions.”
As Tavisha feels connected to herself again, she rates herself a 4 out of 5 and is happy to improve and grow daily. We are proud of Tavisha for being independent in her thoughts and life and glad to be part of her journey.
Tavisha’s Warrior Tips:
1.“When you encounter a setback, take a break but return from it and face the situation.”
2.“Be considerate of other people’s mental states and be empathetic.”
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