“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning to sail my ship.” – Louisa May Alcott.
Sritha, a 33-year-old woman, aspired to be a pilot and is passionate about flying through life’s storms. She is a lead mechanical engineer with roots in Chennai. After her marriage, she and her husband, who works at Freshworks, settled in the IT Hub, Bangalore.
Being raised by progressive parents, Sritha and her elder brother were affectionate with one another. He was the personification of both mom and dad for her. She also enjoys music, dance and reading, all of which she calls her ‘one constant’ throughout her life.
As a child, she was confident with every aspect of her guards in place and never doubted herself.
“Even my brother used to tell me he wished to make bolder decisions and choices like me.”
Patriarchy was never a proposition in her household. She was always treated equally with her brother. With their support, Sritha broke the stereotypes and studied mechanical engineering as an undergraduate.
When the intention to wing her way to the sky grew higher, society started frowning upon her bravery.
“I was a healthy child, and I never liked traditional clothing. People compared and criticised me a lot for my features and choices.”
Despite everything she was capable of, She was reprehended for not being the analogy drawn by the society for women. As a child, it didn’t seem to bother her, but as she grew, people’s opinions started echoing in her ears, and Sritha eventually had a personality shift.
“I was still the same person from within, but I started having more conversations in my head than I was saying out loud.”
As time passed, she became more subtle and self-conscious, repressing everything in her head. During the pandemic, with her starting a new family, she acknowledged the triggers that made her feel she needed to find help in some way.
She began to have issues with her in-laws after their child was born. In the first three years of her marriage, she and her husband lived alone in Bangalore, but once they had a baby, her in-laws moved in.
“My husband and I had no difficulty in the three years since we lived almost like bachelors, but my in-laws were rather conservation, unlike my parents, who pushed me more to explore.”
She points out that she felt very differently about their approach and choices as she never had to learn those ways growing up in her progressive household. It started getting difficult for her when they insisted on raising her child the traditional way, even though the couple had decided on a Montessori approach.
“I always intended to make things convenient for them to enjoy their retirement, and I never complained about their method of doing things, but it affected me within.”
As she kept on sealing her emotions, her mental state started getting tied down to a rock. She realised it was also beginning to impact her relationship with her husband.
With the lockdown imposed, she felt overwhelmed and confused about her options.
“You’ve got to find yourself first. Everything else will follow.”– Charles de Lint.
Since her husband was an employee of Freshworks, she learned about the subscription to YourDOST, which includes family members as well. She immediately took the assistance and contacted the experts on the YourDOST platform.
“At first, I was unsure if it would work, as some of the experts were younger than me, but they proved me wrong! I started feeling comfortable opening up after the first session.”
She could vocalise all her emotions and piled-up thoughts in a non-judgemental, safe space. She finally opened up about all her childhood repressed memories to the present.
“I was an achiever when I was younger, but as I grew with all the doubts I developed, I felt I couldn’t reach where I wanted to be!”
She expressed her passion for being a pilot and reached the final round but couldn’t succeed due to medical issues. It has been her dream since second grade, and she felt there was no plan B.
“It was a game changer in my life after college when I realised I must be constrained to a desk job instead of gliding into the sky!”
Opening up about all the significant changes in her life, Sritha felt she had an outlet to pilot her emotions.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, to have the life that is waiting for us.”–Joseph Campbell.
Consistent sessions with the counselors allowed her to fly through the invisible walls she built around herself.
“With my struggles in the past and present, finding a balance was difficult. My counselors helped me channel my energies in the right direction.”
To give Sritha the fuel to fly and make her understand different perspectives, the counselors also made her journal every possible feeling and thoughts she had to give her a cathartic effect. It became a great medium for her to let out everything instead of unleashing anger or suppressing her emotions.
Eventually, she started seeing different perspectives on a situation and letting the gloomy balloons of thoughts in the air. She stopped blaming herself for the things she could not control and started shifting her response for the betterment of herself.
“I’m now confident that if I know I’m doing the right thing, I need not be guilty of not fitting in with the crowd!”
She learnt to establish boundaries and find common ground in disagreement with her environment.
After all the sessions and activities through Therapy, Sritha feels grateful to her counselors for making her feel heard and empathising with her. She realised she had been the pilot all along, flying her life! Now, she is ready to untangle all the ties and float to the sky despite all the upheavals!
Rating herself 4 out of 5, Sritha’s progress has become about taking small steps to create significant changes! We are delighted with everything she has accomplished and thrilled for her future adventures through the tempests!
Sritha’s Warrior tips:
1.“Don’t blame yourself for things you can’t control. Let go and let yourself be in peace.”
2.“It is imperative to ask for help; you can get support from the right people if you do!”
3.“Be open to other’s perspectives and understand where they come from.”
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