“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”- Winston Churchill.
At age 29, Jaffar Sadiq had his life figured out. He had a good job as a software engineer at VOYA, lived with his joint family in Bangalore, enjoyed cricket on the street with his siblings, and loved the warm family bonding.
“I have three siblings, and we all grew up together in a joint family. My childhood was full of great memories.”
However, not all memories were to be so joyful. The fact that life is so fragile and can change at any moment used to be imprinted in Jaffar’s mind, as he had seen his elder brother fighting fits since childhood.
Even with these shadows, Jaffar’s life moved steadily forward: work, family, and everyday routine. Then, one day, what appeared to be such a normal and regular day became life-changing.
It was a usual day when Jaffar visited his brother’s workplace, a call centre situated only some kilometres away from his home. He would often work from there during the day when the employees working the night shift were away.
But this time, something went horribly wrong. While entering the building, Jaffar, who was unaware of fumes from the acid placed near the washroom, inhaled them. He had a problem with smelling properly since his childhood, and by the time he realized what actually happened, it was too late.
“I couldn’t catch a breath. I remained standing, feeling I was dying. My chest was closing down in a panic. I couldn’t move.”
Despite his pleas, the people around him didn’t seem to realise the intensity of the situation. COVID-19 was at its height, and people thought that he was just a carrier.
“No one helped me. They were all scared, and they just ignored me.”
Unable to catch a decent breath, Jaffar somehow managed to reach the nearest hospital. Antibiotics were prescribed to him by the doctors, but that merely got him discharged later that day-the real battle was far from over.
The next morning, when Jaffar entered his bathroom to take a shower, the steam of hot water triggered acid-like odours. Suddenly, he was unable to catch his breath again.
“My heart was beating like crazy; my body was shaking, and my chest seemed heavy. I thought it was happening all over again. I didn’t know what was going on and couldn’t react to my surroundings.”
What Jaffar didn’t realise at the time was that he was having his first panic attack. And it would not be his last. For months, a fear of reliving that moment haunted him. He stopped going outside alone, afraid of what might happen if he did. Even simple things like riding in a car or walking outside filled him with dread.
“Every time I thought of going out alone, I felt the panic rise inside me. Even being at home, just thinking about going out, triggered those same overwhelming feelings.”
Jaffar and his family sought answers, visiting multiple doctors and hospitals. But no one could explain what was happening.
“I had all the symptoms of a heart attack, like chest pain, sweating, trembling. But every test came back normal.”
It wasn’t until he met a psychiatrist that he finally had a diagnosis for his anxiety. The fear of death haunting him all the time, panic attacks, and racing thoughts were symptoms of an anxiety disorder.
One thing that stuck deep in his mind was the memory of a Kannada actor, Raj Kumar, who died suddenly at age 42.
“When I heard about his heart attack, it triggered me. I was convinced the same thing would happen to me.”
The turning point came when his manager suggested he try YourDOST, a mental health platform that VOYA partnered with. Reluctant at first, Jaffar eventually reached out and connected with a counsellor who began guiding him through his anxiety.
“I cannot thank my counsellor enough. She made me understand my condition and taught me ways to deal with it.”
The counsellor introduced him to various techniques through which he could bring his thoughts under control. One technique was to note down all negative thoughts and schedule a time of the day when these were to be attended to.
“These techniques helped me put a boundary on my wandering thoughts. It gave me a sense of control.”
Through mindfulness, breathing exercises and cognitive behavioural techniques, Jaffar began to fight his way back.
“I went from having negative thoughts all day to barely having any. It was like a huge weight was lifted.”
These days, life is much easier for Jaffar. It isn’t easy, but he has learned to control his anxiety to live in the present.
“The therapists at YourDOST gave me the tools to see life in another dimension. I feel awful for forgetting my counsellor’s name, but she gave me the hope to move forward in life. My counsellor was no less than a doctor who saves lives because I wouldn’t have survived without her.”
He rates himself a golden 5 in terms of feeling better, and improvement for him means inculcating positive thoughts and notions.
In a world where mental health often takes a backseat, Jaffar’s journey reminds us no one is ever truly alone. Whether it’s through family, friends, or counsellors, support is always within reach.
We at YourDOST feel proud to be a part of his journey and wish him the very best in life!
Jaffar’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Every life on earth will leave it someday. We shouldn’t waste our time speculating on when it is going to occur.”
2.“We have to think of living, loving, and finding value in life.”
3.“Fear is all right, but don’t let it rule your life. Take small steps, and ask for help along the way. And always, always keep hope alive.”
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