Do you often find yourself prioritizing everyone else’s needs over your own? Saying yes when you want to say no, always being there for friends even when you’re feeling drained, or constantly canceling personal plans to cater to others?
While fulfilling roles as a friend, sibling, student, or colleague, we often overlook the most important role- the one we play for ourselves. Let’s call it the “Role for the Self.”
Think of the familiar instructions you hear on a flight: in case of an emergency, put on your oxygen mask first before helping others. This isn’t just advice for air travel- it’s a vital principle in life. You can’t effectively care for others unless you first care for yourself.
Self-care isn’t selfish; in fact, it’s selfless. Here’s how you can take care of yourself without letting guilt take over:
Set Clear Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are key to building trust and maintaining healthy relationships. Research shows that setting boundaries reduces conflict and resentment, but many of us struggle to say no without feeling guilty.
To set boundaries effectively:
- Use “I” statements. For example, if someone is pressing you about something personal, you could say, “I prefer not to discuss that right now.”
- Stay aware when your boundaries are being tested, and be firm yet respectful when asserting them.
Listen to Yourself
In today’s world full of distractions, connecting with your inner self can feel challenging. Yet, research highlights that self-awareness is a cornerstone of self-care. Here’s how you can start tuning into yourself without feeling selfish:
- Take time each day to check in on how you’re feeling- emotionally, physically, and mentally. Regularly nourishing your body with proper food, sleep, and exercise is essential for well-being.
- Acknowledge and accept your feelings without judgment. Whether you’re happy, stressed, or sad, recognizing your emotions helps you process them more healthily.
Practice Gratitude
Gratitude can transform your mindset. Studies show that gratitude boosts emotional well-being, and heart health, and even reduces anxiety. Practicing gratitude also helps you feel more content with yourself.
- Try journaling daily. Writing down even one sentence every day can help you structure your thoughts and enhance your overall well-being.
- Engage in random acts of kindness, whether it’s offering a smile, lending emotional support, or helping someone in need. Simple gestures of kindness not only lift others up but also bring positivity into your own life.
Prioritize and Schedule Self-Care
What if you treated self-care like any other non-negotiable meeting or appointment? We show up on time for work calls and doctor’s appointments, so why not give self-care the same level of importance?
- Add self-care activities to your digital calendar, like Google Calendar, and set them as recurring events. Treat these time blocks with the same respect you would give to any work obligation.
- Track your self-care routines to see how they’re benefiting you. Are you able to engage in these activities without interruptions? Are you feeling less guilty about dedicating time to yourself?
The tips above are a solid foundation for building a self-care routine that works for you. But remember, self-care isn’t just a one-time thing- it’s a lifestyle. As the flight attendant’s advice reminds us, take care of yourself first before tending to others. If self-care is considered selfish, then embrace it as the healthiest form of selfishness there is!
