“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” – Khalil Gibran.
T.W.: Mentions of self-harm
This is the story of Aakansha. She is a 32-year-old who worked in the Career Services Department at Great Learning.
Aakansha hails from Delhi, with roots in the beautiful state of Uttarakhand. Her childhood wasn’t easy because of complicated family relationships and a constant search for emotional support. While growing up, Aakansha felt the weight of generational stress and the impact of traumatic experiences.
“My family is a typical Indian family who struggled to provide the emotional support I needed. I always felt like I was alone, looking for someone who would understand and support me.”
She faced a general lack of support at home, which paved the way for her struggles with self-worth and emotional stability.
Aakansha loves being a pet parent and dancing, which are among the hobbies that bring her joy in the chaos, though her interests often change over time.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Aakansha’s workplace partnered with YourDOST, providing employees access to mental health support. It was then that she found Ms Sagarika, her counsellor.
“The first call was super emotional for me. I was upset with myself, but when I spoke to Ms Sagarika for the first time, I didn’t know what magic she had, but I hoped she would understand what I was trying to say. She’s a great listener and empathetic.”
Aakansha was dealing with a lot of trauma from her childhood. She had self-harm tendencies that surfaced at an alarming rate.
“I was trapped in my emotions, unable to find the right words to explain what I was going through. After going through a lot in life, trauma becomes your nature, and you start to doubt yourself.”
One of the most painful parts of Aakansha’s past was the abuse she suffered from a trusted family member. When she finally gathered the courage to tell her parents after her marriage, they did not believe her.
This betrayal and neglect added to her trauma, leading her to consider ending her life.
“I was destroyed by the fact that such a huge thing happened in my life, and nobody tried to understand what I was going through.”
Talking to Sagarika brought Aakansha some relief. She appreciated that her counsellor could understand her, even when she shared her experiences in a non-linear way.
“I love that even when dealing with emotions back and forth, she could guide me and understand the chronology of what was affecting me.”
Sagarika introduced Aakansha to several techniques to manage her anxiety and negative thoughts. Journaling was one method suggested, but Aakansha struggled to keep up with it.
Instead, Sagarika advised her to practice the 5-4-3-2-2 technique and physically touch her face, nose, and skin when she felt overwhelmed, helping her stay grounded in the present. She also encouraged Aakansha to acknowledge her thoughts, even the disturbing ones, rather than suppressing them.
“Since I started acknowledging my thoughts, around 40% of my negative emotions have disappeared. I don’t get them anymore because I have questioned them and realised there is no benefit in holding onto them.”
After continuous sessions with Sagarika, Aakansha began to see positive changes in herself. She started to love herself more and became more active.
“The biggest change is that I now have a purpose in my life. I know that I have to live, and I can live. I have started loving myself.”
Before beginning therapy, Aakansha didn’t care enough for herself. Now, she finds joy in small things, like shopping for herself and applying nail paint. These changes have also helped her professionally.
“I began to notice that when dealing with clustered thoughts, you can’t even work in the office. But now, I have clarity of thought, and it is helping me professionally.”
Aakansha expresses deep gratitude for Sagarika’s guidance.
“If it wasn’t for Sagarika, I don’t think I would have survived for long. She is honest with me and corrects me when I’m wrong. She doesn’t say yes to everything I say but shows me a different perspective. Other people might do it better, but if it weren’t for Sagarika, I wouldn’t have celebrated my next birthday.
Aakansha rates herself as 4 out of 5 in terms of feeling better and sees improvement in self-care and self-love.
We at YourDOST celebrate Aakansha’s courage and transformation. Her journey reminds us that there is hope for a brighter future, even in the darkest times.
Aakansha’s Warrior Tips:
1.“Going to a psychologist is not about being crazy. Your life can change. I have changed in two months.”
2.“Focus on self-care and self-love. They are essential for healing and growth.”
3.“Acknowledge your thoughts and emotions. Don’t suppress them; instead, question them and understand their source.”
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
